The Art Neuro Weblog

Jobsearch 2004
As some of you may know, I'm on the look out for a job. Today, I found this lineup of jobs under Arts/Media/Entertainment.That's right, mixed in between those fantastic job opportunities as an exotic dancer, a topless waiter, a nude model, a magician's assistant (now there's a plum job!) is an ad for the Canterbury Bulldogs CEO position.

Shall we say, oh how the mighty have fallen? Well, the Bulldogs and rugby league are Showbuisness, and as Showbusiness goes, I must say they've been putting on a pretty good product for show. Somehow this is not quite good enough when you mix in scandals to do with salary cap breaches; cover-up the name of players accused of sex offenses; cover up athletes who have tested positive for illegal drugs and so forth. Yes, you could dispute the salary cap is nothing more than an elaborate ploy by the NRL to control the escalating growth of player salaries. Yes, you can say that the players were merely accused, and should not be put through a trial by media - keep us all to the innocent until proven guilty mantra which protects us all from false accusations. Yes, cocaine is an illegal drug, but it's not like everybody in society has to undergo the same tests as elite athletes so you could argue an invasion of privacy against the said player by having that knowledge revealed. And yet, it remains the Bulldogs are a media-challenged franchise. I must confess I actually entertained the thought of applying. That's right. Well why not?

The exit of Steve Mortimer tells us a few things about the club. The club would like it to be seen by their supporter base to be doing something, but they do not want to change the status quo. The CEO is essentially the fall-guy for the board to take the hale of bullets from the Media and the Players and the supporters. In all of this, I feel the most sorry for the supporters. God forbid that your kids' heroes should turn out to be a bunch of coke-snorting greedy gang-rapists. Seriously. I'd consider turning to another sport (like baseball!)

Things I would do as CEO of the Canterbury Bulldogs Rugby League Club Ltd.
1. Turn over the Roster.
That's right, a total clubhouse purge. There is a culture that is not acceptable evolving and thriving within the clubhouse. As CEO, the only choice is to breakup this group, good and bad players alike. I would move to move star players to other clubs in a bid to secure young players of the future. Mediocre players will be traded for good clubhouse citizens and veterans who are coming to the end of their careers at other clubs. I would sever the contracts of the un-trade-able bad players because obviously they are of no use to the club.
The aim is to field a totally different side in the 2005 comb. Yes, clubhouse morale will sink through the floor, but public confidence in the club by its supporters has already hit that floor. Yes, it would be abandoning years of investment into scouting and developing good players, but that money is nothing next to the lost revenue for years to come if the club betrayed it supporter base. Above all, the club should be seen to be doing everything in its power to rectify this culture.

2. Sack the coaches.
It doesn't matter that the club has performed well on the field. It is what they are doing off the field that is killing the future of the club, and the club cannot live with this. Instead, bring in somebody who is going to teach these athletes how to live. Bring in people who can teach these players what it means to be clubhouse citizens. The current crises are an expression of the systemic failure of the coaching staff.

3. Institute club rules and fines that are proportionate penalties to the salaries that are being paid.
That's right. What does it matter to an athlete to fine them $200 when they are making 300k p.a.? None whatsoever. So, from here on in, the club should fine players a significant percentage of their pay. If the players don't like that in their contracts, they shouldn't play for the Bulldogs. The club should also explain that if they are up for criminal charges, the club won't pay for the defense lawyer. You think you'e breaking the law? You'e out there on your own like every other crim. There is no way the club has to take responsibility for the stupidity of the athlete, and that should be club POLICY.

4. Start a serious programme where players must interact with the public.
Send the players out to primary schools, send them out to hospitals to "work". Make them earn public trust. The players are often protected by their stardom or club. If they were made personally accountable to their fans, then it would make it harder for them to break that trust. In other words, make them accountable to the people for whom they play. Right now, there is a kid out there saying, "Willie Mason, say it ain't so.". The club should not live with that condition; now or in the future.

5. Rebuild the development scheme.
This would include starting a serious statistical analysis section to the business, so as not to overpay for talent.
Also, the coaching staff would have to be re-educated so that they do not let the athletes off the hook for social misbehaviour. The future Bulldogs coming out of the development schemes will have to be a different breed of players.

6. Shore up the Sponsorship situation.
This can only be done through trust. Fortunately, the Bulldogs' main sponsor is Mitsubishi Electric and I'm Japanese. I would have a serious shot at appeasing their wrath and delivering the product they were looking to sponsor. I would explain to them all the radical things I'm doing in order to ensure it never happens again. Then, hope like hell.

It would be an 12 month project to institute all these things if the board wanted to do it. I can't imagine they would. In fact, I can't imagine they would appoint a Japanese guy to do this thing. So I guess I'm not applying :)

- Art Neuro