No Prior For Yankees

He Goes To San Diego
I think it' a real bummer that the Yankees didn't score on Mark Prior way back when he was a High School draft pick. They sort of low-balled him and he went to College and then the Cubs. now, as a Free Agent looking to rebuild his injury stricken career, he has chosen to go to San Diego.

Prior, whose once-promising career has been sidetracked by various injuries, missed the 2007 season after undergoing right shoulder surgery April 24. He last pitched for the Chicago Cubs in 2006, when he made nine starts and went 1-6 with a 7.21 earned run average.

Prior, a 27-year-old right-hander who was 18-6 with a 2.43 E.R.A. in 2003, can earn another $4.5 million in performance bonuses.

“Mark Prior is a competitor and is working hard to regain the form that made him one of the great young pitchers in the game,” Padres General Manager Kevin Towers said. ”

Prior graduated from University of San Diego High School and was the second pick in the June 2001 draft, out of Southern California. He is 42-29 with a 3.51 E.R.A. in five major league seasons.

He became a free agent when the Cubs declined to offer him a contract for 2008 before the Dec. 13 deadline.

If healthy, Prior could join a Padres rotation that includes the National League Cy Young Award winner Jake Peavy, the 347-game winner Greg Maddux and the right-hander Chris Young (3.12 E.R.A.).

The smart word is that it's a long shot that Mark Prior is going to recover to his 2003 form. Yeah, San Diego could look like a team with 3 aces, but not any time soon. If he does turn it around, it would strike me that the Yankees have really had little luck with this guy.

Oscar Peterson Passes Away

A Jazz Great


This sure puts a dampener on a Christmas.. I don't know how to take this, but Oscar Petersen has passed away, aged 82.

Oscar Peterson, a Canadian jazz pianist who earned many honours during his decades-long career, died Sunday in Mississauga, Ontario aged 82.
The Montreal-born Peterson learned to play piano in childhood and by the 1940s was actively performing in Canadian big bands such as the Johnny Holmes Orchestra. A groundbreaking performance at New York's Carnegie Hall in 1949 brought Peterson's career to an international level.

"The world has lost the world's greatest jazz player," Hazel McCallion, mayor of Mississauga and Peterson's friend said on Monday afternoon.

Among many honours, he was appointed a Companion of the Order of Canada, the nation's highest civilian honour, in 1984. He also received seven Grammy Awards and in 1978 was inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame.

"The minute we get to the sections where he's featured, I take no prisoners! I like to take liberties, and he's got to be right there to hear where I'm going. We still open doors in the improvisation for one another to develop."

He also loved the competitive nature of this kind of jazz and the unexpected pleasures that could emerge in live performances.

"There is always the chance for moments of great beauty to emerge," he said.

Oscar Petersen was always the towering technician of Jazz that loomed large over the horizon. His improvisations were always perspicacious and beautiffully delineated. There was no hesitation in the technique and note-selection that was honed and crafted. My brother and I used to marvel at his inventiveness and prowess that were captured on record. his Gershwin songbook as well as his West Side Story song book left a lasting impression on me - and I'm just a gonzo guitar dude.

RIP Oscar. It's time to pull out his recordings again, methinks.

Governor Arnie vs. Wasington DC

A Lot More Interesting Than 'Alien Versus Predator 2'

Here's something from TIME magazine which I'm quoting wholus bolus because they tend to disappear behind a veil after the week.

TIME'S Kristin Kloberdanz sat down with Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mary Nichols, chairperson of the California Air Resources Board, in Fresno, California to discuss the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) denying the right of California and 16 other states to set their own fuel emission standards. The Governor was clearly frustrated though he remained genial. Excerpts from the interview:

TIME: How frustrating was the EPA ruling?
SCHWARZENEGGER: I always start with the positive. I was very happy that Congress and that the President signed into law [an improvement for] fuel efficiency of the vehicles by the year 2020. That is the first time in a long time, which, of course doesn't say much for the United States.... But it's good news. So that's number one. It's one of those things that you get that news in the morning and then a few hours later, then you get the real bad news. Which is that they don't believe that we should be controlling our own destiny and cleaning up the air and controlling the tailpipe emissions and all those kinds of things.
What this means is, we sued them in order to get the waiver [to set their own standards], now we're going to sue them to overturn the decision [denying the states the right to set their own standards]. And I think what it's basically saying is that they made a decision which is against the will of millions of people in California. It's a decision that is against the will of 16 other states. When I look at that, the Environmental Protection Agency is the Environmental Destruction Agency. The name says it protects the environment. How can that protect the environment when you don't want to let anyone really move forward with this agenda? And [as for] the excuse that it is a national issue and therefore it must be handled at a national level — I say to myself, "Wait a minute, let me think this through for a second," which we always do, we think a little bit. If you have a national problem with hunger and starvation, do I say, "Stop feeding people at the local level. We can't get involved. We have to have a policy nationally." No, we don't.
What, ideally, do you want in this situation?
SCHWARZENEGGER: What I'm saying is, give me a national policy that says we're going to take this seriously and we're going to fight global warming. But right now, there has been none. So how can you say you cannot regulate, you cannot have your own standards [that] we have to set a national standard, when there is no national standard? The tailpipe emission standard [of California] was already passed in 2002, the Pavley bill. There was no [national] standard. And in 2003, there was no standard. In 2004, there was no standard. In 2005, there was no standard. In 2006, there was no standard. So what are they talking about, "you cannot do this on your own because we have to have a national standard"? I say, "There is no standard!" Their standard is to have no standard. Therefore, we have to come in as a state.
It's always been the case if the federal government has fallen short on anything, the states come in. As a matter of fact, the federal government has said many times that we are the laboratories for the federal government. Let's have the states try something, if it's healthcare, education, whatever it is, because we all know all great things start at a grassroots level. Why are we all of a sudden fighting that? It can only be that [the federal government is] going to the car companies and [is] saying to them, "Hey what can you really handle comfortably here," and they tell them, and they say "Whoa whoa whoa," California is stepping over the line, this wouldn't help you.
MARY NICHOLS: Just to put a legal point on that, the [Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE)] legislation which is part of the Energy Bill [passed by Congress] is not a greenhouse gas emission standard. It's a totally different thing. The argument that somehow because we now have a CAFE standard that means we shouldn't be regulating greenhouse gases, it just doesn't hold water, it makes no sense.
SCHWARZENEGGER: That's absolutely right. And so, I just think that they've been dragging their feet. As I said to [EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson], I obviously respect their opinion and I understand where he's coming from, he can only go so far because he is part of the Administration, but the bottom line is, it's very, very disappointing. I think, again, this is news that will go all over the world that they are not serious.

Yup, you tell'em Arnie. I sure hope he told them he'll be back. And if they don't listen, bust into the White House with a gattling cannon thingy blazing.
I'm still a fan.

UFOs?!

Chief Cabinet Secretary of Japan Thinks They Exist

The Chief Cabinet Secretary of Japan Nobutaka Machimura was asked what he thought about UFOs. His answer is as follows:

【ＵＦＯ】
　−−先日民主党の参院議員から未確認飛行物体（ＵＦＯ）に関する質問主意書が出され、本日、政府としては存在の確認していないなどとする内容の答弁書が出されたが、この質問の内容や答弁書の内容について長官の考えは 「うーん、まあ、あのー、政府のそれは公式答弁としてはですね、ＵＦＯの存在は確認していない。だから、対策なども特段検討していないという極めて紋切り型の答弁しかないだろうと思いますけれども、あのー、私は個人的には、こういうものは絶対いると思っておりまして。個人的な、個人的な意見でありまして、政府答弁は政府答弁であります。そうじゃないと、いろんなところにあるね、ナスカ（の地上絵）のああいう、説明できないでしょ。と、思っているんですけれどもね。ま、ちょっと、これ以上広げないようにします。どうも。毎回、こういうご質問をお願いいたします」

This is some pretty weird stuff. After being asked what his view on the question submitted to the government in the National Diet about UFOs and his response goes along the lines of:

"Umm, well, uhh, the government's position on this is that we have not verified the existence of UFOs, so we do not have any particular investigation on the matter; and as the government, there really is no other way to answer it but in a curt manner. Well, if you're asking me personally, I think these things have to exist. The government's official answer is the final government answer. Be that as it may, when you think about it, there are so many things you can't explain away like the drawings in Nasca. I won't try and expand on it right now. Thank you. But I hope you ask me these kinds of questions more often."

What do you make of that?
Personally, I'm laughing my head off.

Shark Attack

Here We Go

This summer has kicked off with 2 attacks already.
Here's one in Bondi Beach of all places.

Scott Wright, 34, of Hobart, was swimming at south Bondi when he felt a shark bite into his arm about 8.30pm on Friday.

He made his way ashore, where he passed out in a cave that he had temporarily made home with a mattress and his belongings.

Mr Wright said he was found by his girlfriend on the beach yesterday morning.

"The shark attacked me, grabbed hold of my arm and wouldn't let go," he said.

"So I ended up punching him in the nose and trying to fight him off.

"I thought I was a goner. I thought I was gonna die."

Lifeguards were notified at 10.45am yesterday and an ambulance crew called, treating the man for lacerations and shock and taking him to hospital.

Lifeguards said they often see sharks in deeper water but the fish rarely make it through the nets and threaten bathers.

The last attack at Bondi Beach was 70 years ago.

"He went swimming in the dark, which we strongly discourage," lifeguard Ryan Clark said.

"We have no idea what type of shark it was but, judging by some of the lacerations, it was probably under six feet [1.8 metres]."

If you go swimming in the dark, it has to be said, you were "asking for it."

The there's this down the coast.

A 31-year-old has been airlifted to hospital after a shark bit him on the buttock while he was surfing at Port Stephens in the New South Wales Hunter region.

The Ambulance Service says the man was surfing at Jimmy's Beach, near Tea Gardens, when he was attacked.

A local fisherman spotted the man and drove him to Tea Gardens Ambulance Station about 11:00am (AEDT).

The surfer was treated at the station for a serious bite wound and flown by helicopter to John Hunter Hospital, in Newcastle, to undergo emergency surgery.

Paramedic Paul Alexander says the man lost a lot of blood and is in a serious condition.

"He's been bitten on the buttock region and he has quite severe lacerations to that area," he said.

"Haemorrhage from there has been quite serious [but] he's been stabilised by ambulance paramedics."

That one was from Pleiades.

UPDATE: Of course it turns out the Bondi Attack was a hoax.

IT WAS the great white lie.

Scott Lawrence Wright, the man who claimed to have been attacked by a shark at Bondi Beach last weekend, is now in jail, and his story, which was gobbled up by media outlets around the world, has been shattered.

The revelation came to light on the same day a 2.8 metre grey nurse shark was pulled from a shark net a few hundred metres off Bondi Beach. "At first we thought it was a dead body. Then we realised it was a big shark," said Martin Baker, a producer on the TV show Bondi Rescue, which filmed the shark's removal.

A spokesman for the NSW Department of Primary Industries described its death as an "unfortunate" incident.

The sharks are classified as critically endangered under federal legislation and endangered under NSW laws. Wright, 34, an itinerant who had been sleeping in a cave at the beach before the supposed attack last Friday night, had proudly detailed to reporters his brush with death.

"The shark attacked me, grabbed hold of my arm and wouldn't let go. So I ended up punching him in the nose and trying to fight him off," he said, displaying the gash marks on his arm. "I thought I was a goner. I thought I was going to die."

It would have been the first shark attack at the beach since Colin Stewart, 14, was savaged there in 1929.

But sources have told the Herald that Wright's wounds, which required dozens of stitches and a night at a Sydney hospital, were not caused by a vicious shark, or even by a relatively docile wobbegong, as was reported yesterday.

Rather, they were the result of Wright's arm going through a pane of glass - an incident that occurred several days before the supposed shark attack.

It is understood it was only on Saturday morning, after a woman on the beach asked Wright how he had cut his arm, that the shark attack story was concocted.

But by Tuesday night Wright was no longer basking in the glory of his new found fame. He was busy answering questions from police after being arrested outside Redfern RSL.

He was charged with various theft-related offences and faced Central Local Court on Wednesday.

Police alleged that sometime between Monday night and Tuesday morning Wright entered room 507 at Noah's Backpackers in Campbell Parade, Bondi, and stole two wallets and a set of keys, before driving away in someone else's Holden Rodeo.

Wright also faced charges relating to an outstanding arrest warrant issued in 2004 after he failed to appear in court over assault and trespass charges.

He did not apply for bail and will remain in custody until February 14, when he is due to face court again.

Detective Inspector Jason Smith of Waverley police said the alleged shark attack had not been reported to police.

"We don't know how he sustained those injuries at this point in time."

What a chump.

Yankee Hotstove

LaTroy Hawkins


The Yankees signed LaTroy Hawkins to a 1 year deal. It was that or sign Luis Vizcaino for 3years. It's a better choice, and as the Viz has signed with the Rockies, the Yankees will get a draft pick for him. La Troy Hawkins on the other hand does not cost the Yankees a pick.

Here's an ERA comparison:
They're remarkably similar pitchers except Latroy is a couple of years older, but he also had higher peaks in his performance.

Here's a K/BB Comparison:
It's interesting to see that LaTroy had a fantastic peak period during his age 29-32 seasons. He sure had good command back then.

Here's a WHIP Comparison:
Stuff-wise we're taking about fairly similar pitchers.

I think it's a good signing if LaTroy can somehow find his command of years ago, once more.

Making Room On The 40Man Roster
The Yankees DFAed Andy Phillips. It's a bit sad but Andy Phillips has failed to stick as a 1B. He is quite a useful player, but he's just not a 1B bat.
Brian Bruney wasn't DFAed, and that was an interesting choice. Instead, the Yankees DFAed TJ Beam, Matt DeSalvo and Darrell Rasner. All these guys could be good back-end-of-rotation guys, but the Yankee depth essentially washed over them. It's a weird way for the TINSTAAP principle to shake out, but it's hard to believe the Yankees had Beam, DeSalvo, and Tyler Clippard as their front-line pitching prospect not so long ago.

Rasner is another case entirely. Picked up as a RuleV draft pick, he stuck, and saved the Yankees from a couple of tough spots. Hopefully, he signs a minor league contract with the Yankees. He's actually a useful guy to have on the roster, if only they could fit him back on. He may out-pitch Moose this year if Moose declines any further.

Mark Prior

Now there's a name. Prior has been injured for the better part of 3 seasons after his epic 2003 where he and Kerry Wood carried the Cubs to the post-season. Since then, he's been injured about as often as the amazing Carl Pavano. Yet, the Yankees are kicking the tires on Mark Prior.

The possibility of the Yankees and Mets competing for a big-name pitcher always puts sizzle into a free-agent chase, but it remains to be seen how deep the two teams get into discussions over rehabbing righty Mark Prior, the ex-Cub.
Both have expressed "preliminary interest" in Prior, John Boggs, the pitcher's agent, said yesterday. "But it hasn't been anything more than that. Next week will probably be pretty busy."

Boggs says 11 teams have expressed interest in his client, who likely will be ready to pitch in the majors by the end of May.
Prior, whose promising career has been derailed by injuries, was non-tendered by Chicago last week. Prior had arthroscopic surgery last season on his shoulder in which noted orthopedist Dr. James Andrews did some repair work to his rotator cuff and labrum.

"He's playing catch right now and Dr. Andrews and his physical therapist feel like he's progressing nicely," Boggs said. "Mark is a guy who has no problem working hard. Barring anything unforeseen, he's going to be just fine. If we don't rush him, he could be very successful."

Prior, who is just 27, was ineffective in nine starts for the Cubs last season but he once seemed like one of the game's future aces. In 2003, he was 18-6 with a 2.43 ERA and had Cubs fans dreaming of an awesome 1-2 combination with Kerry Wood, who has also been slowed by injuries.

The Yankees drafted Prior in the supplemental round of the 1998 draft as a high schooler, but failed to sign him - he turned down a $1.5 million offer that the team made a few months after the draft, a signing strategy executives rued afterward. Prior went to college instead - Vanderbilt and Southern Cal - and later signed for $10.5 million.

The Yankees' potential interest is "always exciting," Boggs said. "But I want to caution you that we've only had preliminary talks. Things can change. They're back in (trade talks for Johan) Santana, aren't they?
"I don't know what the level or pace is going to be. We're looking at the interested teams and we'll explore a team if it's a good fit."

If there ever was a pitcher that taught the Yankees an important lesson about the amateur draft, it was Mark Prior. From the lesson learnt, the Yankees have been going above slot-money in the draft. That's how they got Hughes, IPK, Joba plus Horne, Betances, and Brackman. Prior, in a sense was the template of them all - the power RHP with Mid-90s FB, Plus Curve and Changeup. Had the Yankees signed him and had Prior in 2003, they might not have ridden him into the ground as Dusty Baker and the Cubs did, and maybe he might have been useful in 2004-5. Of course, that's just abject conjecture. However, a healthy Mark Prior is a spectacular pitcher.

Seriously, if Prior could come back to being his 2003 self, (gasp! an ERA+ of 178! in 211.3IP) it would be worth signing him over trading for Johan Santana. Even if he's 'only' good for ERA+ of 125 while pitching 180IP , it would be wunnerful. I'd say that is exactly the sort of punt the Yankee need to make. Please Brian Cashman, make this work.

The Mitchell Report

Performance Enhancing Drugs

I was forced to think about the damn Mitchell report and about Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte in light of them being named. I've already discussed my feelings about steroids in the game of baseball here; and I have to say my position has not changed. My mixed emotions carry over to Roger's 354 victories equally as they do to Bonds' 762 homers. While those gents might be denying they ever did PEDs, Andy Pettitte has admitted it.

"I had heard that human growth hormone could promote faster healing for my elbow," Pettitte said. "I felt an obligation to get back to my team as soon as possible. For this reason, and only this reason, for two days I tried human growth hormone."

According to the report, Pettitte called Brian McNamee -- by then, a former Yankees assistant trainer who still worked closely with Pettitte and Roger Clemens -- and asked McNamee to travel to Tampa.

McNamee told the Mitchell investigators that he injected Pettitte with HGH two to four times, obtained from former Mets clubhouse attendant Kirk Radomski. Pettitte paid for McNamee's trip and expenses, but McNamee said there was no separate payment for the HGH.

Pettitte returned from the disabled list on June 14 of that season and made 19 starts through the remainder of the regular season, going 12-4 with a 3.29 ERA.

"Though it was not against baseball rules, I was not comfortable with what I was doing, so I stopped," Pettitte said. "This is it -- two days out of my life; two days out of my entire career, when I was injured and on the disabled list."

I'm not really surprised to find out about this stuff. As such, I'm finding it hard to write anything new about it. It feels like a decade-old topic, even with fresh allegations and admissions.

So to write some new insight, I was thinking about Viagra. Viagra is a 'performance enhancing drug'. Enhancing Performance is the central appeal/efficacy of viagra and its like medicines, that they enhance the masculine performance in sex. So if you were the woman who gets to have an orgasm, thanks to your partner having taken the little blue tab with the 'v', do you then complain about the orgasm not having been achieved legitimately? That is to say, is there really such a thing as a legitimate orgasm that is different from a viagra-assisted orgasm?
Furthermore, would you be complaining about the possible side-effects of the Viagra? Does anybody (apart from Paul Vitti/Robert DeNiro in 'Analyze This') actually care?
I think the answer is a resounding 'no'. Thus we must ask, is there a real difference between a PED-assisted home-run and an ordinary home-run? probably not.

The complaints about the tainted record books seem incredibly overstated.
Yes, it's bad that they took these drugs; it certainly sets a bad example for the kids; it's illegal to have done so; and it casts a pall on the record books; but maybe it wasn't as significant a factor as it was for a sport like athletics or cycling?
I'm tired of speculating and wondering. I think at some point the numbers and the known fact should stand on their own.

Film Script Update

It's Like Talking To Martians

As you may know, I'm working on a story about a North Shore widow who is dating a drug lord over the objections of her grown children. The working title at one point was 'Grandma is F*cking A Drug Lord', but we eventually settled on 'Crashing By Design'.

Last week, we finalised the treatment and lengthy application form and sent it in to the NSWFTO by express post. Within the day of it arriving, I received a phone call querying our collective writing credit. Yes, my writing partner has only written one short film but it's not like she doesn't know how a script works, having worked as an actor for years. Me? well, I told them I *do* have a screen credit for a feature film.
"Oh," the woman who I will not name here (just yet) said. "I'll get MW to give you a call. He's away for a couple of days, but I don't think you can submit a treatment. We'll need a first draft before we accept an application from such an inexperienced pair."
"I'm sorry, inexperienced?"
"Look, MW will call you later this week when he gets back.
"Uh-huh."
Except, he didn't.
The rest of the week went by with nary a peep. Finally, MW called my writing partner's place and left a message yesterday, and I spent the whole day today, trying to call him back. I left messages, I waited, I called again only to find the FTO was closed at that time; probably loafing off having Christmas lunches, I thought. Wouldn't you?

I finally caught him at 16:08. According to MW, I "didn't have enough professional standing".
"I have a feature credit. What's wrong with it?"
"Well, you share it with a number of people."
"So?"
"Well it seems hard for us to judge that you have sufficient experience as a writer. We'll at least need a first draft."
"Insufficient experience? Have you read my CV?"
"Well these are the guidelines."
"I know I'm not David Williamson, but how is anybody ever meant to get in?"
"What do you mean?"
"You only made at best 15 feature films last year. That's the whole Australian Film Industry. How can anybody qualify if they're NOT David Williamson?"
"We did fund a lot more projects in the periphery of those films."
"Yes, but only if they had multiple credits hat were produced. So you only want to fund the people other people funded."
"Well these are the guidelines. I know they're strict but I have to apply them."
"I read your guidelines very carefully. Had I applied for the new writers grant..."
"...That program is under review at the moment."
"Well, look, hypothetically, had I applied for that grant, you would have disqualified me for having had a credit. I read your guidelines very carefully in the interest of not committing fraud."
"These are the guidelines."
"Yes well, I'm asking how does anybody ever get in"
"The thing is, this development frame work only accepts treatments from very experienced writers only. People with at least one or more feature film credit."
"So what's wrong with mine? You accepted TE's submission a few years ago on the strength of the same project that he and I worked on. I don't see what the difference is."
"Well, that was a few years ago. Guidelines and their interpretations change over time."
He sounded uncomfortable. Why wouldn't he, because he knew I was right and he was caught out in a contradictory position. not that that stops a bureaucrat from being obtuse.

MW then went on to say that the guidelines were about to change in 2-3 months and that they would become more *lenient*.
Lenient. Get that? LENIENT Like some judge handing out sentences. Talk about a Freudian slip.
"So what do you recommend I do?"
"That's up to you how you spend the next 2-3months. Wait to submit again or do something else?"
Christ Almighty. Did you get that? If those were the choices, I wouldn't be asking. You wonder why people loathe and detest the FTO, there you have it - the kind of obtuseness that makes you want to run screaming in the streets yelling abuse. I'm amazed that spree killers target Churches and shopping malls and not Film funding bodies.
Anyway, I put the phone down and thought there you have it. After 20 years of toiling in the industry, I don't have enough "professional standing" to even have my treatment read by a bunch of bureaucrats. Then I went screaming abuse through the streets.

From The Mailbox

An End To The Culture Wars

One of the most traumatic and disconcerting things of the Howard regime was the way it would protest a bias in such venerable institutions as the ABC and then try to throttle it, threaten it, and install hostile-minded apparatchiks as quisling board-members to silence criticism. 11 and a half hears of that hateful idiocy later, Australia is only slowly waking up from the nightmare.

Anyway, this was sent in by Walk-off HBP and I think it deserves a read.

The thought that the culture war is over, and that Janet Albrechtsen, Christopher Pearson, Gerard Henderson, Piers Akerman, Andrew Bolt et al can be left baying impotently at the moon while the rest of Australia gets on with life may comfort some. It is tempting to agree with George Miller, who declared at the AFI awards last week that sunny and wiser days are ahead.

But culture wars, like the war on terror in which the culture warriors have invested so much ink and newsprint, do not have definitive conclusions. We may be living in sunny and wiser days, but they are at most a time of truce for the drawing of new battle lines, not a general peace.

This is partly because some of the culture warriors have predictably rushed to misdescribe the decision that Australians made a fortnight ago, so that their preferred hate figures can continue to be accused of being somehow disconnected from, or even hostile to, popular sentiment.

Thus Gerard Henderson, in The Sydney Morning Herald last Tuesday, conceded that Kevin Rudd's victory was a "triumph for him and his family, as well as for the Labor Party and its dominant social democratic tradition" — and then proceeded to assure us that it was not necessarily a victory for the left, "the base of which these days is outside the ALP".

Henderson did not explain why he appears to think that "the left" can still be used these days to refer to a distinct and coherent movement with a "base", rather than being mostly a label for an otherwise amorphous group of people in cafes who are not avidly reading Christopher Hitchens on the war on terror.

Instead, having conjured up his straw person, he began a diatribe against Robert Manne, who had supposedly given "the left" its voting orders in a Monthly article published shortly after Rudd's elevation to the Labor leadership.

That article, as I recall, was chiefly an expression of hope that the forthcoming election would result in a restoration of decency in public life. How such a hope could fail to resonate with "the social democratic tradition", Henderson did not say. It was enough that he had evoked an image of his straw person, "the left", being rallied by hate figure No. 1, the insidiously manipulative puppetmaster Professor Manne.

Expect more of this. Spinning arguments to the effect that what some of you believe just happened is not what really happened, and that if you thought you had any part in it you really didn't, because it's not about you, after all, is what culture warriors do. There is not even a remote prospect that they will cease doing so just because the Coalition happens to be out of office. Apart from anything else, as members of the chattering classes they affect to despise it is their livelihood.

The spin may be finessed a little, perhaps by attempting to schmooze the new government, Henderson-style: e.g. an acknowledgement that the victory belonged to "Labor and its dominant social democratic tradition", in which the tradition is redefined to include people like Henderson but not people like Robert Manne or anyone else who might have thought they had some claim to be part of it. But otherwise it'll be the same old warrior waffle.

There is another side of the culture war that never ends which the warriors rarely acknowledge, perhaps because waging the war is their livelihood. It is simply this: that the waffle is so ineffectual. Appointments to the boards of public broadcasters and museums matter, because the boards make decisions. But all the sound and fury expended by the warriors in commentariat mode has evidently mattered much less. Indeed, the battlers whom they liked to extol as the opposite of the reviled cafe-lurking "left" proved immune to it.

I hope this change of government signals a greater shift away from tabloid thinking. Though I can't imagine the Angry Fat Man even conceding that the Howard government got kicked out because John Howard was past his use-by date. The problem now is that there are so many young people out there with tabloid minds and tabloid thoughts, ready to point the finger at the ABC of all things, screaming reporting bias.
The torture never stops.

Adaptation

In the nights I've not been running out to see Zappa or putting together documents for the FTO, I've been doing my interpreting thing for the Japanese Film Festival again. This year's Q&A session featured Akira Ogata, the director of 'The Milkwoman'.

During the Q&A, Akira pointed out that it is really difficult to pitch an original concept in Japan right now. If you go into any of the studios or production companies and say, "this is an original story," it immediately becomes a tougher sell, regardless of the budget or scope. Of course in Australia, we have no such problems because our market is far from saturated with Australian stories, anything will do - But that is another rant.

This year's Japanese Film Festival featured quite a number of adaptations and 'based on a true story' type fare. The hit movie 'Tokyo Tower' which played to a packed house was an adaptation. It's not just Japan where we are seeing this trend; The world trend this decade is deeply conservative, starting with the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy as well as the Harry Potter series of films. They are now following up with 'Narnia' and 'Golden Compass' as full-blown series-based franchises, both based on books.

This year I've seen the third installment of the following franchises:

• Spiderman


• Ocean's 11


• Pirates of the Carribean


• X-men


• Bourne Identity

I've been telling people the thing I've seen the most in cinema this year is the number '3'. Apart from the absurd adaptation of characters from a amusement park ride that is 'Pirates', all these films have been adaptations of some kind, if not a remake of a previously succcessful project.

You can see that a project with an in-built audience is always going to be far more attarctive to invest in than a project that you cannot determine the appeal to a wider audience until yopu make it. If every film is a prototype product, then it is understandable that an executive might want to cover his ass by saying "look, it's a hit book!"

Where is all of this going to go in the future?

Quite simply, the movie business is retreating into a position where it won't develop new characters or stories. It's going to expect book publishing and comic books to do that hard work and the movie business will pilfer the intellectual capital from other industries. It's mightily slack if you ask me.

Maybe it is the way to go in a business sense as you are minimising risk. After all, it's not everyday that you get to establish a raft of characters like in 'Star Wars', or even Indiana Jones. seeing that these films cost so much to make, why would you risk that capital in something that has not been proven? And just look at the box office receipts of the adaptations! They do very well indeed,

The downside of course is not only that it reduces screenwriters to adaptation specialists and ths destroys the foundation of creativity in your own business, but also reduces the significance of film as an art form in the long term. Indeed, how important an art form could it be if it lets others take the risks and gambles in developing new ideas?

This is not a good trend at all when one considers it. Cinema may be in its decadent phase where we can supply all the form and style in the world thanks to digital effects, but none of the function and therefore substance of its own. That would be a shame.

Zappa Plays Zappa

"The Dweez!"

Last night I went to see Zappa Plays Zappa.

The second of four children, Dweezil was born in 1969 - shortly before his father's popularity peaked. Having taken up guitar, he was able to learn from, and occasionally play with, one of the instrument's most distinctive practitioners.

"I played in the studio with him a couple of times, and casually sitting around when he wasn't touring we would play, he would teach me things, and I'd ask questions," Dweezil says. "I would have liked to have the opportunity to have done that more."

At 12 he performed with his father for the first of a handful of times, in front of 5000 people at London's Hammersmith Odeon. "I'd only been playing guitar for nine months, so to be playing with a band as good as Frank's was a bit surreal," he chuckles.

Zappa routinely composed with orchestras in mind, but paid the bills by playing that music with rock bands. When he did employ orchestras, he personally bore the mammoth costs.

"Normally when a composer that's in favour with the classical community uses an orchestra, they'll be getting money from a government organisation or some benefactor," Dweezil says. "But he was never in favour. He was always considered to be somebody dangerous in some way - musically or politically."

Zappa Plays Zappa has more links to Frank than his son. It includes the long-term singer and saxophonist Ray White, and virtuoso guitarist Steve Vai.

"We actually re-create things from the records on stage that Frank didn't do, because he didn't have the instrumentation at the time," says Dweezil proudly. "It's pretty cool."

Frank Zappa scion Dweezil Zappa has assembled a band to play his father's music. It's the closest you're going to come to seeing Frank Zappa songs played live. The band includes erstwhile 'Assistant Illinois Enema Bandit' Ray White, an alumnus of Frank's old band, as well aas a guest spot for Steve Vai who is another Zappa band alumnus.

What's Good About It
2hours 45minutes of Frank Zappa music played as faithfully as any cover band, but with more legitimacy. The show kicks off with footage of Frank doing Cosmic Debris, and the band play along to the footage. From there, it explores most of the signature tracks from his 1970s oeuvre. So you get 'San Ber'dino' 'Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy', 'The Illinois Enema Bandit', 'Advance Romance' and so on. Then they launch into a heavily exploratory 'Dupree's Paradise', after which Steve Vai joins the stage for 'Andy', and it's lead-break heaven.

The performances are so respectful, you get echoes in your brain from recordings Frank made and put together for the epic 'You Can't Do That On Stage Any More' series; and there are many references to Frank's persona too. The audience participation schtick, the ending of the show on 'Yo Mama' with the big introduction of the band-members at the end and so on.

There's so much fidelity to the classic Zappa band sounds you cannot miss that it is a labor of love for all the musicians, and the passion plays true, straight to the devoted audience who would be its harshest critic if anything was artisticially out of place.

The band is tight, so much so they can play a very credible version of 'G-Spot Tornado' as an encore to a mightily long show. They close out the evening with 'The Muffin Man'.

What's Bad About It
I never thought I'd say this but some of the duet lead guitar material played by Dweezil and Steve Vai went a couple of refrains too long. I think I fell asleep in the 'Advance Romance' lead-break, only to wake up and find they were still playing the lead break to 'Advance Romance'. Maybe it was micro-sleep, but y'know I never thought I'd fall asleep at a rock concert I was actually enjoying greatly, while they were playing one of the best songs off one of my fave albums of all time. I mean, would I fall asleep during Yes playing 'Tempus Fugit' (hypothetical I know)?

Yeah, I like guitar breaks galore just as much as any guitar gonzo, but there really was just 'Too Many Notes Mozart' at one point. But complaining about excess beyond excess in such a show is like saying, there's too much sugar in the icing on the cake.
The cake was pretty darn good.

Other Thoughts
Question 1. Why does Steve Vai have such a nasal tone on his guitar?
Disregard the god-like technique of Vai. It's just strange that the guy once teased for sounding like 'an electric ham sandwich', sounded much like an electric hot dog at best.

Question 2. Where are all the obscene songs?
There was no Nanook rubbing the doggy-doo snowcone into the eye of a bogus St Alfonzo at all. There was no Bobby Brown going down; and no 'Broken Hearts Are For Assholes; no ramming it up the poop-chute; no 'Honey Don't You Want a Man Like Me' and giving some head; no 'Applying rotation on the sugar plum, on 'Dinah Mo' Hum'; none of it. Basically, there was hardly any of the obscene songs. The most erotically evocative track was 'Carolina Hardore Ecstasy' where they do it 'til they're unconcho. That's about it, which is kind of strange.

The persona projected by Dweezil Zappa is a lot more gentle and conciliatory compared to he jagged, acid confrontational Frank. I'm not sure that not playing Frank's more obscene songs makes the cause for Frank's greatness, an easier thing to sell. Most people who fork out the cash, know what they're in for when they think of Frank. May as well play it as kinky as Frank did, I would have thought. Clearly Dweezil thinks otherwise. In some ways it was an uncharacteristically polite Zappa show.

UPDATE:
Here's a gallery of photos for the night.
Set List reads:
Cosmik Debris
Magic Fingers
Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy
Doreen
Illinois Enema Bandit
Joe's Garage
Wind Up Working in a Gas Station
San Ber'dino
Dog Meat
Pygmy Twylite
Dupree's Paaradise
Uncle Remus
Willie The Pimp
Andy
I'm The Slime
Filthy Habits
Dumb All Over
Baltimore
Advance Romance
Echidna's Arf
City of Tiny Lights
Yo Mama

Encore:
G-Spot Tornado
Muffin Man

Yankee Hotstove

What Price Santana?

Just what should the Yankees trade for the best pitcher in Baseball?
Right now, they're thinking Phil Hughes + Melky Cabrera and a B Prospect. Amazingly, the Twins want another A Prospect.
I really can't stomach the thought of parting with Phil Hughes after all this time. Here's what the Yankees are paying:
5 years of Hughes at low cost.
4 years of Melky Cabrera as League Average CF at low cost
6 years of somebody doing similar to Hughes (let's say Alan Horne).
For:
Santana for 1 year at 12million or so. Then, 6 years at $20m/yr.
Santana at 3.00 ERA and 200IP for those years.
Not that it's the best method, but it's handily available on THT so.. Win Shares says: Santana is consistently about a 25-27WS player.
Melky is about a 13WS player right now with some upside.
If we conservatively said Hughes is about as good as Scott Kazmir(to just pull a name of a good, young pitcher out of a hat), then he is roughly about a 15WS player plus the upside.

Just eyeballing that, I think what the Twins lose on having Hughes is easily made up with Melky. that is to say, stats alone says Hughes + Melky = Johann in value.
So really, it's daft that the Twins even want another player on top of Hughes and Melky.
This assumes Hughes becomes nothing more than a 100ERA+ kind of pitcher and there's no significant change to Melky's level of performance. If they get any better than that, the Twins totally win this trade.

If the Bosox are offering Lester and Ellsbury, I'd say let them have Santana. 2008 will be tough, but I like my chances of a Joba-Hughes-IPK troika against Beckett-Santana-and-Matsuzaka, even in a play-off series.

Andy Pettitte is Coming Back
Andy is coming back for one more year.

“Calls and requests for him to return from Brian Cashman, Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, Joe Girardi, among others, influenced him, as did an outpouring of requests from Yankees fans,” Hendricks said, after the news was first reported by the Houston Chronicle.

So there goes a bit of leverage for the Twins to milk the Yanks.

UPDATE:
The Yankees are out of the hunt according to Hank Steinbrenner.

General Manager Brian Cashman would not comment on the breakdown of the Santana talks, but he said: “We’ve worked hard to get guys to a certain point where we’re ready to grow with them, and hopefully, we can. It doesn’t mean we’re not going to move them at some point, but at this stage, I’m happy to say that we’re holding onto guys.”

Hughes, 21, went 5-3 in 13 starts last season, and added a victory in the playoffs. This was the first time he had been involved in specific trade rumors.

“It’s been sort of tough the last week not really knowing what’s going on,” Hughes said via e-mail. “Obviously things can still happen, but I’m very happy to still be a Yankee.”

The Twins privately acknowledged that Cashman had not informed them that the Yankees had pulled out. But Steinbrenner is the final authority, and Cashman has never seemed overly enthusiastic about parting with young talent, either.

That leaves the Boston Red Sox as the clear favorites to land Santana if the Twins trade him.

The Red Sox are offering varying packages centered on center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury or starter Jon Lester. Steinbrenner said he was not fazed by the prospect of Boston’s adding an established ace like Santana to a rotation of Josh Beckett, Curt Schilling, Daisuke Matsuzaka and Clay Buchholz.

Steinbrenner added that keeping up with the Red Sox was not enough of a reason to strip the Yankees’ farm system.

“Maybe Boston isn’t at that point, because they obviously worry about what we do, and I don’t blame them,” Steinbrenner said. “Of course we’re always concerned about them, but at the same time, I can’t let that affect what we do. I can’t help what Boston does and what Minnesota does.”

Steinbrenner said “there were a lot of factors involved, including money” to explain why the Yankees dropped their pursuit of Santana. The Yankees already have the majors’ highest payroll, and Santana probably would have cost at least $20 million a year. Already this off-season, the Yankees have reached agreements to re-sign Pettitte, Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera, who will make more than $70 million combined next season. With Pettitte back, adding Santana was less appealing, considering the cost in players and money.

Wise move. The wisdom of even a straight-up Hughs+Melky for Santana was questionable before money issues even came up and the Twins did want more on top. Pettitte coming back really makes the difference. Here's another take:

• Andy Pettitte, 215 innings, 4.05 ERA

• Chien-Ming Wang, 220 innings, 3.70 ERA

• Phil Hughes, 160 innings, 3.60 ERA (Yankees give him some extra time off to strengthen)

• Joba Chamberlain, 160 innings, 3.60 ERA (see Phil)

• Ian Kennedy, 190 innings, 4.20 ERA

• Mike Mussina, 100 innings, 4.50 ERA (takes some starts from Phil and Joba)

Six average-or-better pitchers. No one has a ridiculous season. Wang and Pettitte repeat 2007. This is a perfectly respectable World Series caliber rotation, especially given our lineup. Interestingly, this made me realize that Ian Kennedy is a lot more valuable in the short-term than I thought because his arm will be ready to pitch a full workload next season, while Joba and Phil may not be.

Why do we have to ruin a good thing?

Yeah. Amen to that. I'm hoping the Yankees do enter Spring with the Hughes, Joba and IPK troika. This news gives me much joy. If Boston end up with Santana, so be it. I'm sure Bosox are in for a rude shock if they give up Ellsbury and still have to face the above rotation.

My Song Of The Week

Astronaughty Returns With Coelacanth

This is the Coelacanth version of 'Astronaughty'.
We're sort of coming towards the end of the Coelacanth 2 project. Another 2-3 tracks and we'll be done. It's been pretty stressful at times, but the light at the end of the tunnel is there. And it's not an oncoming train.

My Song Of The Week

Back To The Future!

Video Killed The Radio Star is my offering of the week.
I know, I know, it's a cover. Chella and I had this strange desire to do a cover of this song. What can I say?
"It is what it is".

This Week's Song

It's Collaboration between Colin Moxie, a.k.a. 'Bampot' and Coelacanth.
The subject matter? Britney Spears (that other Anti-Christ).

Enjoy.

Yes Paul, You May Speak Now

How Happy Is This Guy Now?

Paul Keating can't stop saying stuff. but now that the election is finally over, I think he should get the last word here after all the 'STFU' I've given him.

Saturday night's victory was not just a victory for the Labor Party; it was also a victory for those Liberals like Malcolm Fraser, Petro Georgiou and Judi Moylan, who stood against the pernicious erosion of decent standards in our public affairs.

The Liberal Party of John Howard, Philip Ruddock, Alexander Downer and Peter Costello is now a party of privilege and punishments. One that lacks that most basic of wellsprings: charity.

The French philosophers had it pretty right with the Enlightenment catchcry of liberty, fraternity and equality. There was not much liberty for the boat people, or fraternity for the Aborigines or the Muslims, or equality for the unionists who believed in nothing more revolutionary than the right to collectively bargain.

Eleven-and-a-Half Years is a lo-o-ong time. You tell them Paul, and you can come in from the cold now. :)

Winners Are Grinners

The Greatness Of Pete Sampras

Believe you me, one of the greatest talents to ever walk the earth was Pete Sampras. Okay, so he never won on clay at the French, but he had everything going for him. Speed, power, accuracy, tactics, the serve and volley, the instinct, the endurance, the mental toughness. If you ever were going to create a perfect player, Pete Sampras at his prime was a good template with which to start. Of course his greatness is about to be eclipsed sometime soon by Roger Federer when he accumulates 3 more Grand Slaam titles. Federer actually is a very similar type of player who just happens to come to the net a little less. There is very little difference between the two men in terms of their command of the game.

Recently, the two men have been playing a series of exhibition matches. Naturally, Federer being the current world no.1 won the first comfortably in 2 sets, 6-4, 6-3. The Second also went to Federer 7-6, 7-6. The second result augured the Pete Sampras at 36 was finding something. In the third match, he beat Federer 7-6, 6-4.

Sampras never faced a break point and converted one of two against his opponent as he handed Federer a 7-6 (8), 6-4 defeat at the Venetian Macao arena, wrapping up a three-match Asian exhibition series between the two tennis greats.

Sampras downplayed his victory, noting Federer was coming off a long season and that he was helped by his big serve and the fast indoor carpet surface. He had only aimed to win one set during the three-match series.

"Let's not get carried away," he said at a news conference.

Sampras ruled out a comeback from retirement, telling the audience after the match, "I had my time in the 90s."

Federer tried to put on a positive spin on the loss, saying he wasn't embarrassed to lose to his idol, but still showed some disappointment.

"It's been tough beating my idol the last two times. I'm happy that he got me at least once," he said, but adding, "I hope we can do it again in the future. I'd like to get him back."

The two players have won a combined 26 Grand Slam titles, but Sampras, 36, retired five years ago after winning the U.S. Open in 2002. Twenty six-year-old Federer is fresh from another stellar season as he won three Slams and last week's Masters Cup in Shanghai in compiling a 68-9 winning record.

"I'm sort of surprised. This guy can play tennis, you know," the Swiss player said after his loss Saturday.

Play enough games between 2 great players and you would get such results, but Sampras has been retired 5 years. He obviously was short on match practice in the first game, but by the third, he must have had his form back. It doesn't prove *anything*, but it gives us a glimpse and reminder of just how good Sampras was at his prime. Nice to see you in action at the top of your game one more time, Pete.

Kevin '07
I still don't know what to make of Kevin Rudd. The man used to be a career diplomat and then somehow went political. I do note something interesting: His son-in-Law is Asian, and he speaks Mandarin. Nobody in their right mind is going to accuse this man of the kind of racism that John Howard never could shake.

The other notable thing about this victory for him is that he did it on the basis of a Presidential election. In the past, these sorts of election stratgies were an anathema, but clearly Australia has changed. It pays to be a media slut as well as a diplomat. If not but for the fact that Kevin Rudd essentially (and most diplomatically) delivered a message: "It will be just the same except it would be me running it instead of him" speaks volumes about where Australia is at. We're still about the money, the mortgages and real estate value.

Other than that, I feel we've elected some kind of Duracell Bunny over the Eveready Energiser. Something that's a little fluffier than the other sales pitch.

The End Of The Line For John Howard
As I noted a few days back, John Howard and the Coalition got spanked in the election. Jeff Kennett and his Mo-vember mustache pronounced that the "It's Time" factor had a lot to do with it. I think it was more like the, "We've had enough, now fuck off and die John" factor had a lot more to do with it.

This is a man who had to lower the nation's lowest common denominator to his level of pettiness, hatreds, intolerance, ignorance and fostered so much greed while letting people walk away from their best instincts. This is a Prime Minster who didn't mind appealing to the worst instincts in the electorate to shore up his office. This is a man who continuously ignored the most burning ethical and environmental issues of his time in the name of Conservative Politics.
If that truly were conservatism, Winston Churchill would be spinning in his grave.

My father who is an arch-conservative once said that John Howard was contrary to the expression, not a man you could be proud of under any circumstance, but a man you could be embarrassed for under any circumstance. We shall feel that embarrassment no more.

However, to give the man his due, he did deliver a great concession speech. I know I was overjoyed to know he was done and gone at that moment, but I have to concede it was the best speech I'd ever seen him deliver. He looked the most prime ministerial, majestic and equal to his office in his very last speech. It was as if he finally got to the point of gravitas and dignity on the very last moment.

John, you won't be missed. You may now fuck off and die. And even that is being too kind.

About The Angry Fat Man
Something occurred to me about the Angry Fat Man.
He's never voted in his life. I've voted every time (as is the law, but actually with great enthusiasm) ever since I've been eligible. I've participated in every democratic event that I have been able to.

He's not even an Australian citizen. In all that time, he's never done a thing. Never cast a vote. Not even for the US election. How the hell can he get worked up about all this when he's trying to establish his US citizenship, his Permanent Residency status in Australia, and then try and put himself on the dole?

Yankee Hotstove

The Weirdness Continues

At the trade deadline in 2006, the Yankees traded for Bobby Abreu AND Corey Lidle, taking on their contracts from the Phillies. In exchange, they sent 2005 No.1 pick for the Yankees, C.J. Henry to th Phillies. This is what I wrote back then.

At least the Phillies are not geting Philip Hughes or Jose Tabata.
I would have thought Eric Duncan was the name that would surface in all of this but either the Phillies didn't want him or the Yankees didn't want to part with him. C.J. Henry's been dissappointing so far, but you have to figure this trade isn't too bad if you consdier that C. J. Henry only came to the Yankees because they let Jon Lieber walk to the Phillies.
I'm a little uncomfortable with this when you consider that the Yankees have already flipped another middle infield minor leaguer Hector Made for Sal Fasano only days ago.

Maybe Made was going to be another Erick Almonte, but it seems if they throw out C.J. Henry to boot, you'd have to start asking what's wrong with these MIF guys and why were they in the organisation to start with. As in, why draft C.J. Henry as a first rounder in the first place?

In other words, I wondered out aloud, what the point of signing C.J. Henry as a No.1 Pick, only to throw him out at the first trade opportunity. It turns out the Yankees really still like C.J. Henry, because now that the Phillies have released him, they've signed him to a minor league contract.

"He came to us," scouting head Damon Oppenheimer, the man who drafted the 21-year-old Henry, who batted .184 for Lakewood (Single-A) this past summer. "He told us he wanted to play for us and asked would we want him back? We made sure he wanted to play baseball and we found out the last month of the season he was fitted for contacts and hit .300."

Henry, who had a basketball offer from Kansas out of high school, was drafted as a shortstop and moved to the outfield.
"He will play the outfield in the [Single A] Florida State League," said Oppenheimer, who wasn't sure where in Tampa's outfield the speedy Henry would play.

Though Henry hasn't hit in three minor league seasons, Oppenheimer said he believes the 6-foot-3, 205-pounder will benefit from being around people he knows.
"People have a feeling for him," Oppenheimer said. "We all have a stake in this one. He means more to us than if he was with another team as a released player."

How the hell did the Phillies let him go? They must've disliked intensely what they saw in him, and were so discouraged, they didn't even bother trying to trade him.

As under-the-radar signings go, it's still very strange. Maybe C.J. Henry will turn into a useful major leaguer. It is clear that the Abreu+Lidle to Yankees trade was a total disaster for the Phillies. Lidle died in a plane crash, Bobby's option got picked up, and now C.J. Henry is back in the Yankee system. Go figure.

All The Prime Minister's Men

Rat-Fucking, Ostraya-Style

One of the guys Bernstein tracks down in 'All The President's Men' is a guy who is a professional campaign hack. Stuffing ballot boxes and running innuendo are his thing. He calls it "Rat-Fucking". The obnoxious little term encapsulates the very pettiness, the mean-ness, and the rudeness of the activity. After all, how could fucking a rat even be so pleasurable or worthwhile unless one's member was suitably small?

You hear about dirty campaigns, but you don't get to see just how dirty it gets until you come face to face with rank fear-mongering and appealing to racism. Just how bad does it get?
Well, the Liberal Party have been caught out indulging in their own rat-fucking.

Bogus flyers from a fake organisation called the Islamic Australia Federation were distributed through the letterboxes of voters in a marginal seat, claiming the Labor opposition sympathised with Islamic terrorists.

The leaflets referred to the men imprisoned for the 2002 nightclub bomb attacks in Bali, which left more than 200 people dead. The flyers also claimed Labor support for the building of new mosques in the area.

Then, they tried to pretend it was a Chaser's Style Prank. Spin us another one!

Speaking on ABC radio this morning, Ms Kelly said she did not approve of the pamphlet, but labelled it a "Chaser-style of prank", a reference to ABC TV comedy team The Chaser.

"I think its intent is to be a send-up but obviously it hasn't worked," she said.

"I think if you read it you'd be laughing. Most people who have read it have said 'That's a Chaser-style of prank'."

Ms Kelly said the "prank" was "really immature stuff" that would not influence any voters.

Ms Kelly described her husband's actions as "skylarking" after a few beers.

"I'm a bit upset with him, but no, look I love him," she told Southern Cross Broadcasting.

"He hates the unions with a passion and after weeks and weeks of letterboxing, what gets to be boring material, of a repetitive message that we get them to letterbox all the time, they come up with their own skylarking over a few beers and think that something's funny," Ms Kelly said.

Skylarking after a few beers she says? Right. I see. Have a few beers, get little tipsy and one Liberal Party honcho says to another, "I know, let's go Rat-Fucking!!!!"
"Yeah. What a great idea. Luckily there's an election campaign going on."
"What'll we do?"
"We'll hand out a pamphlet saying the ALP supports Muslims and terrorism and towelheads in general."
"Yeah! Great idea. That'll teach the Sand-nigger-loving ALP!"
Is that how it goes, Mrs Kelly?

Naturally the Chaser Boys shot back:

The Chaser's executive producer Julian Morrow has now invited Ms Kelly, who will retire after the election, to join the comedy team.

"Jackie will obviously be looking for a job," Morrow said.

"One of the criticisms of The Chaser is that we don't have any women on our team.

"Bronwyn Bishop has got the inside running, but Jackie is welcome to make an application."

Morrow questioned whether the Liberal party "prank" had truly been in the spirit of The Chaser.

"If this was really a Chaser stunt, where were the big props, where was the Osama Bin Laden costume," he asked.

"The only real similarity [with a Chaser gag] is that the Liberals in Lindsay got caught and may be facing charges.

"It's a bit of a worry when the best argument you have to defend your ethical practices is that you were doing what The Chaser does.

"We are hoping this will lead to a profitable political consultancy for The Chaser in the future."

Good to see such shenanigans being brought to light. I heard reports from BD that this stuff was going on in his electorate during the 2004 elections. It's sort of funny how it comes up in this election and not the last. As fr as I can tell, rat-fucking is as old as Democracy.

Watching Lateline tonight, it was clear Attorney-General Phillip Ruddock just wanted the whole damn thing to fade away. Anthony Albanese of the ALP was pushing ahead with the allegation that the NSW Liberal Party is captive to the right faction and that this rat-fucking is widespread across many electorates. The AEC is allegedly going to look into this, but it was clear that Phillip Ruddock had no stomach to go through the ins and outs of what it might mean for Gary Clarke.

All of this reminds me of the last days of the Keating government when Ralph Willis suddenly came forth with a document that purportedly stated that the Libs would cut grants to the States. It was a set-up - a forged document leaked to Ralph Willis who bought it hook-line-and-sinker - and Ralph Willis looked mightily stupid as the curtains fell on the last ALP government.
It's nice to see a forged government finally biting the Coalition in the nuts.
As they say "he who lives by the sword..." Hang on, make that "he who fucks rats, dies by Rat STDs."

Just Sayin'

Paul Keating Won't Shut The Fuck Up
Look, I like Paul Keating. I liked him as treasurer, I liked him a PM, I liked him with his Banana Republic and Mabo and big gestures - and even that silly head-dress in New Guinea. But most of middle Australia don't. So it bothers me when on the eve of the election, he chimes in with his two cents worth.

The principal reason the public should take the opportunity to kill off the Howard Government has less to do with broken promises on interest rates or even its draconian Work Choices industrial laws, and everything to do with restoring a moral basis to our public life.

Without this, the nation has no standard to rely upon, no claim that can be believed, not even when the grave step of going to war is being considered. When truth is up for grabs, everything is up for grabs.

Cynicism and deceitfulness have been the defining characteristics of John Howard and his Government. They were even brazen enough to oversee the corruption of a United Nations welfare program. And when they were found out, not one of them accepted ministerial responsibility. Not Alexander Downer, not Mark Vaile and certainly not Howard. What they were doing was letting the cockies get their wheat sold through the AWB, while turning a blind eye to the AWB's unscrupulous behaviour - illegally funding a regime Howard was arguing was so bad it had to be changed by force.

Howard took us into the disastrous Gulf War on the back of two lies. One, that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction, capable of threatening the Middle East and Western Europe; the other, that Howard was judiciously weighing whether to commit Australian forces against an evolving situation. We now know he had committed our forces to the Americans all along.

If the Prime Minister cannot be believed, who in the political system is to be believed?

Certainly not Bob Collins. There are two explicit points that need to be made.
Explicit Point No.1: Even if you're liked, an ex-prime minister who got so resoundingly voted out should shut the fuck up in this election if he wants to help Kevin Rudd.
Explicit Point No. 2: If these things are so bloody obvious to the idiot masses, how come they didn't vote him out earlier?

Now, I dislike John Howard intensely, for whole chunks of reasons ranging from the environment to welfare to education to health to taxation to economic management, even. I am actually getting excited at the thought that the reign of little dishonest Johnnie could be coming to an end within 72 hours from now. It's actually suddenly galvanising me, though I don't know why. I sure as hell don't expect Rudd to be some kind of saviour - He's Kevin Rudd for fuck's sake. :)

I think it's because I know the Angry Fat Man will take it personally. And cry. And whine and moan and bitch, blaming the 'extreme' left-bias of the media (or some-such crapola). But mostly, I can't wait to see Johnnie's sad-ass concession speech and drink a toast to that! As Arnie tells Michael Ironside in 'Total Recall' as Ironside's character Richter falls from a great height without his arms: "See you at the Pahr-ty, Richter!"

Black Hole Science

Go You Aussie Scientists
This article came in from Pleiades.

The Auger Collaboration - a team of 370 scientists from 17 nations including Australia - reported overnight in the journal Science that they had pinpointed the source of 25 cosmic rays, rare particles that travel across the universe at close to the speed of light.

“They almost certainly come from 'active galactic nuclei' or the centre of very active galaxies, powered by black holes,” said Auger member Roger Clay, a high-energy astrophysicist with the University of Adelaide.

“We're now debating if they're produced near the black hole or by energy coming from the black hole.”

According to his Auger colleague Alan Watson of Britain's University of Leeds, the finding opens a “new window” on the universe and is the start of a new form of astronomy - cosmic-ray astronomy.

Along with Adelaide University colleague Bruce Dawson, Professor Watson and other overseas scientists such as University of Chicago Nobel laureate James Cronin, Professor Clay was a founding member of the collaboration.

They pulled together $US50 million to build the world's largest cosmic-ray observatory.

Named after the French physicist who first observed the cosmic rays, the Pierre Auger Observatory comprises an array of 1500 detectors, spread across 3000 sq km in Argentina.

Although many low-energy cosmic rays, like those from the Sun, hit the observatory, only high-energy cosmic rays are not deflected by magnetic fields on their journey from source to earth.

Having detected these cosmic rays, Auger scientists hope to use them to probe magnetic fields, especially those between galaxies, something now not possible.

“We're desperate to know about magnetic fields because they fill the whole of the universe and they have energy,” said Professor Clay.

Not only do magnetic fields work with gravity to shape galaxies, but they may also be one of the most important forms of energy in the universe.

“We want to know where all the energy of the universe is,” Professor Clay said. “We want to have a list of it all.”

Oi, oi, oi.
We get parochial about these things down here where we don't even have a space policy worth writing about.

Yankee Hotstove

Weirder Every Day

Here's something that purports to explain the series of events from A-Rod's perspective. Interesting reading.

"He read all the criticism online from home," one person who spoke to Rodriguez said. "And when he was out of the country, he was calling people every day to find out what was being said about him. I think it got to the point where he truly was in a state of depression."

More than anything, it apparently was the very public and seemingly ironclad dismissal by Hank Steinbrenner after the opt-out that made A-Rod begin to re-think his willingness to let Boras once again dictate the direction his career would take.

"That's why he called me, to ask if Hank was serious about closing the door on him," a second person said yesterday. "From what I gathered, Boras had been telling him not to worry about what Brian Cashman was saying about the opt-out, partly because they knew they had George on their side.

"But then Alex saw the shift in power, with the Steinbrenner sons taking over, and here was Hank saying 'Goodbye, we don't want you if you don't want to be a Yankee.' Those words really messed with his mind because he really did want to be a Yankee."

Yes, there are indications that Boras had convinced Rodriguez that all of the talk about an opt-out ultimatum from Cashman was merely negotiating rhetoric, regularly reminding him George Steinbrenner was on his side.
---
People who should know say that while Rodriguez had given Boras the go-ahead to opt out, he had no idea the agent would leak the news in a way that would upstage the World Series.

"He was blind-sided by the timing," was the way one person put it. "He was (ticked) and he got more (ticked) as time went on and he saw the hit his reputation was taking. The demand for his (merchandising products) dried up almost immediately.

"He was so angry at Boras that at one point he told friends he was thinking of suing him. Then there was a series of steps that led him to take control of the situation. The Lowell talks (with the Yankees) pushed him over the edge. He didn't want any part of going to Boston. So he made his move without Boras.

"I think their relationship will survive - there's too much history there. But I don't think it will ever be the same."

So this dovetails with the Kevin Long/Brian Cashman conversation that was reported yesterday. Interesting line about the merchandising demand. When he opted out, I looked at my A-Rod signature Louisville Slugger and thought, what do I do with this now? ("try actually using it" says my partner "instead of worshiping it"). Typical A-Rod - Weird, weird, weird.

Jeter would never put me and other fans through this kind of shit. No, he puts you through this other kind of shit. :)

New York state tax officials want Jeter to fork over what could be hundreds of thousands — even millions of dollars— in back taxes and interest for the years 2001 to 2003, when the baseball shortstop claimed residency in Florida, despite his high-profile presence in New York’s sports and gossip pages during that time.

Lawyers for Jeter, who has an off-season home in Tampa, Fla., dispute the claims that Jeter “immersed himself in the New York community” and made “numerous statements professing his love for New York" during the disputed period, according to documents published this week on a state Web site monitored by FOXNews.com.

Pay your taxes properly, Jetes!

Yankee Hotstove

A-Rod Watch - Never A Dull Moment

A-Rod has released a statement.

After spending time with Cynthia and my family over these last few weeks, it became clear to me that I needed to make an attempt to engage the Yankees regarding my future with the organization.
Prior to entering into serious negotiations with other clubs, I wanted the opportunity to share my thoughts directly with Yankees' ownership. We know there are other opportunities for us, but Cynthia and I have a foundation with the club that has brought us comfort, stability and happiness.

As a result, I reached out to the Yankees through mutual friends and conveyed that message. I also understand that I had to respond to certain Yankees concerns, and I was receptive and understanding of that situation.

Cynthia and I have since spoken directly with the Steinbrenner family. During these healthy discussions, both sides were able to share honest feelings and hopes with one another, and we expect to continue this dialogue with the Yankees over the next few days.

This is a really interesting development.
Earlier, there was this piece in the tabloids.

A high-ranking Yankees source told the Daily News that the team is willing to bring Rodriguez back on a below-market contract, one that would make up for the $21 million subsidy from the Rangers that the Yanks lost when A-Rod opted out of the final three years of his contract.
In addition, the Yankees don't want to deal with Boras, who has been Rodriguez's agent since the slugger was 16 years old.
"We will not negotiate with Scott Boras," a Yankees source said. "He cannot be in the room."
The Yankees are also aware that Boras could convince Rodriguez to stop the talks. "We realize it could be a trap to get us back in the negotiations," said one Yankee official. "But we don't think that's the case."
Rodriguez apparently approached the Yankees through a third-party intermediary. "He went to them," said the source.
As the Daily News reported today, A-Rod will have to have person-to-person talks with the Steinbrenner brothers -- Hank and Hal -- before a deal can be sealed.
According to the first source, the Yankees are waiting for Mariano Rivera to sign a new contract before finalizing any plans with Rodriguez, who is expected to take a 10-year deal worth roughly $275 million. That would be about $75 million less than Boras has been looking for, though most industry insiders believe there was never going to be a $350 million offer out there for Rodriguez.

"Alex is going to be back with the Yankees," the source said, speaking on the condition of anonymity because the deal had not been made public. "The Yankees don't have a choice. How are they going to compete without Alex? They need him back."

So the trial separation ends up in more excess? Absence makes he heart fonder? Funny that.
If A-Rod gets his 10 year $275m he's still going to be the highest paid player by far.

UPDATE: Riddle Me This, Cashman
Get this:

The Yankees, however, have known for a while that A-Rod still hoped to be in pinstripes. Hitting coach Kevin Long, who is tight with Rodriguez, said Wednesday night that he told general manager Brian Cashman during his own contract negotiations two weeks ago that Rodriguez wanted to return.Here's how the conversation went, according to Long:

Cashman: "Kev, we made our offer and they shut us down."

Long: "I still think Alex would love to be a Yankee."

Cashman: "I don't get it."

Long: "Well, I just know how much he wants to be a Yankee and I know how much that you have expressed that you want him back. If that's the case, then certainly you should both still be talking about it."

Cashman didn't return a message Wednesday.

I don't get it either, Brian. Why would A-Rod opt out before hearing what the Yankees had to say, if he really wanted to stay a Yankee?