Is There Any Point In Even Trying? - Part 2

Sorry About The Comments Section
I'm sorry that the comments section isn't working. Encouragingly, I received a number of phone calls to that effect after my last entry. People wanted to tell me they felt strongly enough about this situation in Australia. They wanted to comment, but couldn't. I don't know what's going wrong with google, but you might just have to bear with me a little bit.

An AFTRS Graduate, You Say?
I've been reflecting some more on how this situation even came to pass in Australia. Back in my days at AFTRS, it was bleeding obvious that there was an industry and that it was on the verge of making s big mark on the world. Films were getting made. People who graduated only years ago were making feature films. They had distributors and were winning spots in prestigious international festivals. It seemed the Australian Film Industry was finally coming of age as an industry.

Well, I can report to you the simple fact that none of the people I graduated with have directed a feature film on film. It's amazing, really. Daniel Kriege and Samantha Lang from the years after me have made their films, but I don't think anybody from my year has directed their feature film. It's a sorry tale, but it's true.

Last December I was working a Christmas party for some Pay TV company and ran into the guy from the year above, who was once the "the Most Likely" to go and make his films. In all this time, he hadn't gone on to be that. Neither have I - well, I hve Key Psycho, but what the hey? We both were just 2 guys who had not fulfilled the expectations that were placed on us by the lofty institution - That night he was the DJ, and I operated the video camera as people who barely knew anything about lighting gave speeches in the dark. We barely acknowledged one another and kind of walked off with a shrug. It's sad, really.

From a bird's eye point of view, what happened was that the investing part of the industry contracted severely in the wake of the 10BA rule changes in the early 1990s, and this was followed by a general contraction of the scope of the industry to the point where the market for Australian Films in Australia itself evaporated. My part in the story has been the year in year out struggle t convince people that I can actually direct a film, but each year the hurdles get higher, the terms get tougher, the opening gets smaller until I can no longer even get an application accepted by the NSWFTO for project development.

You'd think that anybody who graduated AFTRS and was still in the business decade later was committed to the business in spite of its state was somebody you would want to at least look into, but no - they really didn't want to know. Why the hell is the Federal government even funding AFTRS to create graduates like me, if the State government isn't interested? The mind boggles. And I'm not alone.

I'm not really here to go over that terrain again, but needless to say, there's a gigantic disconnect between what the government thinks it's doing and what actually happens at the policy level. If you're going to produce 10-20 film makers a year at AUD$9 million p.a., you'd think that you wanted an industry that was making at least 50 films a year. nobody seems to be doing the maths. Nobody seems to be copping the blame for the fact that only 14 get made and all f them have government funding. There are a lot of angry people out here as a result.

PB was telling me he knows a Sydney based producer who is working with a Brisbane based Director, and neither can get support from the NSWFTO or Film Queensland because one of the 'Key Creatives' is not living and working in the state. This is notwithstanding that the film is about something overseas. Yeah, the NSWFTO won't help because the director attached is a Cane Toad and Film Queensland won't help because the Producer is a cockroach. Hooray for State of Origin!

Russell Crowe Isn't Interested, Why The Fuck Should You Be Interested?
The bottom line is this: our top talent want to come back to work in Australia as a perk. The world is a big place. Once you are out of Australia and you become a bankable star in the world market, it's really hard to justify coming back to Australia.

The problem is, any time you want to talk to the commercial entities such as a distributor about making a film, they always seem to ask for big names (And the big names ask for distributors to be lined up before they read your script but that is another travesty). It's wishful thinking that the A-Listers who have effectively *graduated* to the world market would be interested in working on a small Australian film when they would be working for mega-bucks playing a comic book super hero (Yeah, I'm talking about you Hugh Jackman!). By insisting on the unrealistic, producers, directors and writers are forced to wait. And wait. And wait some more... until they get no answer and they move onto the next A-Lister who won't return communications (That would be you Guy Pearce!)

The question that begs to be answered is, why on earth do the distributors and production companies keep on insisting on these pipe dreams instead of just developing new talent? All you gotta do is look. Untapped talent is the 'market inefficiency', but nobody with any money seems to have sense - which seems to confirm the adage: 'Money is Wasted On The Rich'.

Ask The Market, Stupid!
Year after year, Australian films fail in the market place. They do. It's just the stark reality of it all. They get made half-cocked, and they they get to markets half-heartedly. After 20 years, the Australian public has learned to totally mistrust the brand. Ironically, there's probably a stronger market for Australian product in say, Europe than Australia simply because we're exotic to them. Until we're successful overseas again, I just don't think we're going to win back our own public. The thing about the 1980s was that the market didn't hate Australian Films as much as they do now.

How did this happen? Imagine if I was a parochially loyal customer of say, a local cheese company. You keep buying the cheese even if the quality is uneven because you're loyal to the brand. Until one day you come across a string of really bad cheese and you say, "That's it. I'm done with the local cheese factory. I've supported their product for years but this last run of cheeses has been dreadful." And so you stop buying from them on principle. This has been happening for years.

The most commonly asked question by non-film people is "why don't we make Mad Max type movies any more? That was fun". Why don't we make exciting action movies?"
The answer is not: "because Mel won't come home to do anything."
The answer is: there's a whole cabal of people in government and in the private sector who don't want the Australian industry to be commercially driven.
"But why not? I'd love to see a kick-arse Aussie action movie."
"I'd love to make one myself," I tell them. "But it just won't happen."
You should see the bewildered looks. They're the market. They hate our cheese.

Is There Any Point In Even Trying?

The 'Australian Film Industry' Is Not An Industry - It's A Rort For Superannuated Bureaucrats

I always get some flack when I call it as I see it, but put frankly, the Australian Film Industry is not an industry proper when you consider that it only makes 14 feature films a year and every single one of them gets a government grant to get to the crank in. Let's not even forget to mention that when it does get made, the Australian public lines up in queues NOT to watch them. They discover them years later and ask, "why do our films suck? I mean, why, do, they suck so-o-o-o MUCH?!"

That's right. The average Australian film goers hate our films and would much rather spend money on Hollywood fare or English fare or some exotic European movie than pay to see our own low budget, state-sanctioned, ideologically controlled, politically correct, historically-revisionist, culturally cringing craptastic, BORING MOVIE. I don't blame them as lately, I've felt the same way. Heck, for $12.98 at K-Mart, I'd rather buy an old, odd, DVD title than see a dumb Australian picture at the cinemas for $15.50.

The rest of us who (sometimes) toil in this business hoping to make anything are just in denial of this fact. Your average Australian tax-payer is always astounded at how much money goes to the filmmakers who manage to get funding out of this system - and then they promptly vote with their wallets not to support this system. It's been going on for years. Any time anybody says "I'd like to make a kick-butt genre picture," they get given the cold shoulder. Any time any body wants to make a picture that might go and earn export dollars, the funding bodies tell the producers developing the project claim it is "not an Australian Story".

Sometimes it seems it is a lot more important that the story is parochially Australian than the fact that Australian filmmakers are struggling to make their films. It's an insult that gets repeated year after year, after year. I wish I could vote them out like I would a government - but alas, I can't. Think about that. Think about the oppressive tyranny of that utter lack of options. That, my friends is the stench of bullshit emanating from these 'Film Bureaucracies'.

And with that, I bring to you the latest brouhaha in the disaster that is known as the Australian Film Industry.

GEORGE MILLER: We're kind of stuck in those old paradigms, where anything big, or anything Hollywood is bad. Hollywood is in turmoil, Warner Brothers is cutting down its production, the biggest studio in the world is cutting down its production by half.

So they're in turmoil, everyone's bewildered there, and we're somehow back here in this little back water, resting on our laurels, and we don't have a film industry anymore.

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: George Miller's tilt for the rebate is being hotly debated by the powerbrokers of Australian cinema. Many of them gathered in Canberra to celebrate the merger of the three major film funding agencies into Screen Australia. But it's the change to the way movies will be financed that was causing most of the excitement.

SIGRID THORNTON, ACTOR: I think this gives back some ownership to filmmakers. It's a very exciting period. It's going to go through some teething stages, and I'm sure that the Government will be responsive to those teething stages, and I think it will take time to settle.

BRIAN ROSEN, FILM FINANCE CORPORATION: It will allow Australian filmmakers to tell bigger stories. Because an offset basically delivers 40 per cent of your budget, which is a big step in the right direction to get your film financed.

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: Finding the right formula to finance films has always been tricky. the controversial 10ba tax incentive paid for many of the films in the 80s. It was a generous tax incentive which was often abused and eventually dumped.

Private investors scampered, and although the new Government incentive guarantees a refund of 40 per cent of a film's budget, the producers still have to find the other 60 per cent.

GEOFF BROWN, SCREEN PRODUCERS' ASSOCIATION: Financial markets are collapsing around us. Films are a very risky business. But that's the challenge for us. We've got to change our profile with the investment community. We've got to engage with them on a different level than we have in the past. It's not Government handout, it's bloody hard work.

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: Making films is one thing. Attracting audiences is quite another. Last year Australians spent nearly $900 million on movie tickets. But they spent only 4 per cent of that figure on the 25 Australian films released. And half of that was on George Miller's Happy Feet.

GEORGE MILLER: I heard a critic the other day, a serious critic, say "going to an Australian film is like going to the dentist; you know you ought to, but you know you're in for a lot of pain".

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: There were high hopes for Gillian Armstrong's new film Death Defying Acts. An a-list cast, a proven director and a good story. It was an Australian Scottish co-production. In the top 15 films, it came in a disappointing ninth on its first outing last weekend in spite of sophisticated marketing.

Another lower budget movie, The Black Balloon was the only other Australian entry coming in at number 11. Gillian Armstrong is used to the cut and thrust of movie financing and the whims of those who decide whether or not to fund a film.

GILLIAN ARMSTRONG, DIRECTOR: When we would tried to make me a career, we were knocked back by the AFC, the Australian Film Corporation, and it was lucky we had the New South Wales one to go to, because the AFC said there's been too many period films, go away.

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: So it could backfire?

GILLIAN ARMSTRONG: It could backfire by putting them all together and making a small number of people decide which films are made, so it's no easy answer.

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: And even star power is no guarantee.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, ACTOR: I've had a few little projects I've wanted to do in Wales and I've been just been knocked down. And I've gone personally knocking on doors. And it's like it's not really... it's too kind of like, it's too Welsh.

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: There's no doubt that this is a watershed moment for Australian films and why the key players are nervous about George Miller's criticism.

If he walks he says he'll take not only Justice League away, but also Happy Feet Two, which would probably qualify for the 40 per cent producer rebate.

GEORGE MILLER: We've virtually lost them to this country now. I just got off the phone trying to keep Happy Feet Two in this country.

Justice League is absolutely borderline. And we're talking about hundreds of millions of dollars circulating through the economy, and more importantly, thousands of high-end skilled creative jobs in a sustained industry. Work for the next five or six years and it's been frittered away by people who do not understand the industry, they're stuck 20 years ago in the past.

BRIAN ROSEN: Look, there's a truth in what George has to say. Definitely the industry is a cottage industry.

There is a underemployment in the industry. We all know that, that people really only work six months of the year. And what we're hoping with the offset over the next five years, is that the industry will grow from $600 million to $1 billion, that's where it should sit to have gainful employment from everybody in the industry as it is at the moment.

ANNE MARIA NICHOLSON: But two important questions remain. What is an Australian story? And do audiences here really care about them any more?

Yeah, getting your teeth pulled is about right. It's just as I said. And in all the kerfuffle, you don't really get the sense of urgency from these government bodies that maybe this is not working out the way it should. My own personal experiences of this make me feel like there needs to be a serious revolution and these bureaucrats need to be shot against the wall or placed under the guillotine. It's criminal that they pull down immense amounts of money in government salaries while they put up roadblocks every which way to stop films from getting made. They all make Beth Morgan look like the Virgin Mary - at least with Beth Morgan, you had a shot at getting your building put up if you shagged her.

Meanwhile, the distributors are pulling out:

Palace Films was until recently the most active and sometimes very successful distribber of niche Aussie pics ("Chopper," "Ten Canoes"), but after suffering from an oversupply of underperforming fare, the shingle reined back its investment.

"We tried to reach a critical mass, but we had too many; it's so much work," Palace Films manager Benjamin Zeccola says.

"We are shifting our focus back toward international titles," he adds. "We will still support certain Australian titles, although we will be far more selective."

Roadshow Films has been the major distrib of broader Aussie fare, but the shingle has none dated, and only actioner "The Square" is confirmed for 2008.

Last year, Roadshow released "December Boys" with Daniel Radcliffe and Greg Mclean's frightener "Rogue," but neither met expectations.

Topper Joel Pearlman says the shingle isn't gun-shy. "It just depends when the scripts are ready," he says.

According to some producers, there a two reasons development as stalled -- first, the drawn-out review of film-funding prior to the introduction in mid-2007 of the new rebate; and now, the many questions about how the rebate can be best used.

Pearlman, though, has Roadshow raring to go. "Traditional funding mechanisms are still there," Pearlman says, adding that the company has a staff working on just Australian films. Roadshow has significant plans to capitalize on the new 40% rebate, Pearlman says.

Christ almighty, I hate my industry right now. Having gone past the fear, I absolutely loathe it.

Graig Nettles Battling Cancer

Prostate Cancer Got Uncle Frank

This just sucks.

Nettles, a six-time All-Star third baseman, is scheduled to have surgery on April 8 at Sloan Kettering Hospital in New York. He was diagnosed the day before Thanksgiving last year, shortly after his brother, Jim, had also discovered his own prostate cancer.

Nettles said he was spurred to have his prostate checked by his brother, Jim, who informed the Gold Glover that cancer ran in the family.

"They told me they got it early, and it's curable and treatable," Nettles said. "I've just got to think positive."

Told that there was no immediate urgency to have the surgery, Nettles decided to accept the Yankees' invitation of attending Spring Training as a guest instructor. Despite his pending physical procedure, Nettles said he believed an extended visit to camp had been beneficial for his peace of mind.

"I always thought there would be an urgency in getting it out of your body, but they seem to think it wouldn't matter for a couple months," Nettles said. "So I told them I wanted to go to Spring Training.

"I would have gone crazy being laid up at home."

Nettles spent 10 years of his 22-year Major League career in pinstripes, reaching the playoffs with the Twins, Yankees and Padres. A .248 career hitter, Nettles hit 390 home runs and drove in 1,314 runs in 2,700 big league games.

One of the best defensive third basemen of his era, Nettles had one of his most memorable performances in Game 3 of the 1978 World Series against the Dodgers at Yankee Stadium, making several diving plays and helping the Yankees secure the championship in six games.

I hope he gets well soon. As many readers may know, my fave 1970s Yankee along with Thurman Munson was Graig Nettles. Quite frankly, I'm not ready just yet for this guy to go join Babe Ruth's Yankee team in the sky.

Pastime Passings

Gary Gygax Passes Away

The inventor of Dungeons and Dragons passed away on 4th of March. I've been meaning to write about it for days but somehow I've let the week and a bit go by without comment. This obituary was in The Economist so I'm posting it here.

FOR most people, “role-playing” conjures up dreary afternoons at management retreats, pretending to be an irate customer or a difficult employee. But if you are under 45 and possibly something of a nerd, more evocative memories may surface. You are Jozan, adventurer-cleric of the sun-god Pelor, travelling the world of Greyhawk, battling orcs and evil wizards, righting wrongs and seeking treasure—at least until you and your friends run out of beer and crisps and stagger off to bed. This is Dungeons & Dragons (D&D), the first of the role-playing games and the reason for thousands of misspent youths.

Gary Gygax was perfectly equipped to bring this fantastic world to basements and dining-room tables all over the world. As a boy he was fascinated by games of all sorts, from pinochle to chess. His father, a violinist, read him countless pulp novels featuring dragons, wizards and elves. Even the family name, he once said, had fantastic origins, proving that the Gygaxes were descended from Goliath.

There's an interesting comment towards the end that points out the Wikipedia entry about Dungeons and Dragons is longer than the entry for Marcel Proust's great work 'Remembrance of Things Past'. Pretty funny, and yet obliquely it would be true of my own life experiences. The writings and thinking of Gary Gygax has cast a much longer, darker, denser shadow than the great French Jewish writer. It's perverse but true - Yes indeed, it's embarrassing but true: My life has been more consumed with the slaying of 16 Hit-Dice Red Dragons called Glaurung and Smaugusborda, than with the events of The Guermantes and The Swanns.
Considering all this, I still know far less about Gygax than I do about Proust.
So it goes.

My Song of The Week

This is my song of the week. Check it out!

Making Ghettos

Disturbing Trend

I guess if you can't get the state to do the apartheid for you, you have to do it yourself.

WHITE students are fleeing public schools, leaving behind those of Aboriginal and Middle Eastern origin, a secret report by high school principals reveals.

The NSW Secondary Principals Council conducted a confidential survey which raises serious concerns about "white flight" undermining the public education system and threatening social cohesion. Some teachers and principals have described it as "de facto apartheid".

The findings are backed by research from the University of Western Sydney, which has identified evidence of racial conflict in schools in the wake of the Cronulla riots. It also suggests students of Anglo-European descent are avoiding some schools with students of mainly Asian background.

Not only have some public schools lost enrolments; they have become racially segregated. In pockets of rural and remote NSW, Aboriginal students fill public schools and white students attend Catholic and other private schools in the same town.

Around Sydney, the parents of some Anglo-European students are avoiding what they perceive as predominantly Lebanese, Muslim and Asian schools.

In New England, in towns such as Armidale, white middle-class students are flocking to Catholic and independent schools.

In their report, principals say this is so the students can "get away from their local school".

"This is almost certainly white flight from towns in which the public school's enrolment consists increasingly of indigenous students," the report says. "The pattern is repeated in the Sydney region. Based on comments from principals, this most likely consists of flight to avoid Islamic students and communities."

The report, its pages stamped confidential, was based on responses of 163 high school principals, representing a third of the Secondary Principals Council membership. It was presented to the NSW Government after it was completed in February 2006, but has not been released.

Amazing. This is Australia, folks. It kind of damns itself.
The future is bleak. The coming generation will be worse-educated and less-equipped to deal with the strife being created by these divisions. If you thought the idiots wrapping themselves in flags was awful enough, there's going to be much, much more of that silliness when these white kids grow up ignorant and narrow-minded.

My Song Of The Week

Terrified Yet?
Yeah. I wrote a song about having David Hicks live nearby. This is it.
I don't really know what to say except I sort of do say it all that I feel in this song.

A Terrorist In The Neighborhood

David Hicks Is Staying In Abbotsford

In one of those dumb ironies, he seems to be a customer at my local supermarket. That's right. As Humphrey Bogart once intoned in Casablanca, "of all the gin joints in all the towns in all this world, you had to walk into mine." The news on him is scarce because there's a gag on the man so he can't say anything. I imagine thrusting a microphone in his face would elicit an "I can't talk guys, so please don't talk to me."

David Hicks has been revealed as living in Sydney's inner-western suburb of Abbotsford, with several media locating the convicted terrorism supporter yesterday.

Despite multiple requests for media to leave, News Limited newspapers located Mr Hicks, who was found to be accompanied by a female friend.

Hicks said that he planned to spend about another two weeks in Sydney, before likely returning to South Australia.

"I'll be here for another two to three weeks," he said.

Despite his pleas, media were seen continuing to hound Mr Hicks, who is currently the subject of a US Government gag order should he speak out about his treatment in the US operated Guantanamo Bay facility - a place he was held for over five years.

"I can go to jail if I talk to the media... please don't talk to me," he said.

There you go, it does.
It's a far cry from G'itmo, but you get that. As most of you know, I actually thought David Hicks was a foolish person who managed to stick his neck into other people's business and got a noose thrown around it. While it's hard to condone Camp X-Ray in any way shape or form, I never felt you could say that somebody in his position could say he didn't have it coming to him. One doesn't end up in the company of Al Qaeda by mistake. While it may seem incredibly unkind, from my own historic perspective on all this, I think the guy got off lightly. But I've written all that before, and to tell you the truth, it's rather boring to rehash.

The new twist is that for the next fortnight, I have an ever-so-slight chance of running into David Hicks, "known terrorist, convicted Al Qaeda collaborator". I've been trying to imagine just what is going to be like and I can't help but think I'd stare and gawk and gander.
"Oh look, he likes Pepsi over Coke! What a terrorist!"
"Oh wow, he likes Helga's wholemeal breads! And crunchy peanut butter!"
Of course I don't think I want to know, but it'd be hilarious to see a celebrity in action at the local supermarket. It's not like Paris Hilton is dropping into Five Dock Superbarn any time soon. Besides which, the day he gets to spew his guts to the press is the day he becomes a millionaire. The rest is just posturing.
I doubt I'll get the opportunity to even say "you had it coming you mug," but... I might. Then again, maybe there is a queue forming at Supabarn of people who want to beat the crap out of him. :)