Cue the cellos!This may be a hoax; it certainly sounds like a hoax, but here goes:
Police issued a warning today after a seven-metre great white shark was reportedly netted and freed in a Central Coast lake.I dunno. It sounds like a hoax to me - like the one that got away.
A commercial fisherman reported to police that he netted the monster in waters at a popular school holiday vacation spot at Tuggerah Lake.
The fisherman reported snaring the seven-metre shark in nets he had cast off Canton Beach, at the northern end of the lake about 5.30am today.
"He claimed that he actually caught the shark in his net and the shark came up and started thrashing about, and hit his boat,'' said Chief Inspector Tim Winmill said.
"He said it was bigger than his boat - he's got an 18-foot boat and he said it would have been about 21 feet.
"Tuggerah Lakes is only about 12 kilometres long and five kilometres wide.
"It's not a big lake but it's a bloody big shark, if it's true.''
The shark was last seen heading south towards the middle of the lake, Chief Inspector Winmill said.
Mick Crowe, president of nearby Soldiers Beach Surf Club, expressed surprise there had been reports of a shark in the lake.
"That's quite bizarre if that's the case - Canton Beach is only ankle-deep water for the first 150 metres,'' he said.
But the Department of Primary Industries and the Fisheries Department both believed the fisherman's claims, Chief Inspector Winmill said.
"They believe he's a credible witness, he's been a commercial fisherman for a long time, he's well aware of species of sharks ... they don't have any reason to doubt the truthfulness of his allegation.''
A 7m Great White is roughly the dimensions of Bruce the shark from 'Jaws', so take this one with a grain of salt, a dash of lemon and some tartar sauce.
Leave My Pal Puppy Binkum Alone!
This is hilarious riposte to the media-inflamed political hysteria surrounding the children-in-nudes issue.
FIRST it was the Bill Henson kids sinking the boot in. Now Olympia Nelson, 11, has launched her own stinging attack on the "art ignoramus" running the country.The politicians sure had that coming to them. :)
As the fallout from this latest attack continues, one thing is becoming increasingly clear: it's time for children to lay off Kevin Rudd. The man is not in a position to defend himself.
Nor should he have to. The protection of middle-aged men, especially politicians, is one of the most sacrosanct elements of our social compact.
Rudd has done an excellent job maintaining his dignity in the face of multiple, juvenile attacks. But in his retreat to the false comfort of an emissions trading scheme and his constant, almost Pavlovian references to the Garnaut report ("Art Monthly Australia asked me to pose nude for the cover of their next issue, but I said I would have to wait until Professor Garnaut releases his final report before coming to a decision."), it's hard not to perceive the shadow of some deeper, darker abuse.
Some adult male protection advocates have even suggested Rudd may have received coaching for recent media performances from his own children - a revolting thought. If children have something to say, they should say it themselves.
Either way, these developments provide yet more evidence of the increased sexualisation of middle-aged politicians in Australia. The modern trend began in 1986, when Henson photographed Malcolm Fraser pantsless at the Admiral Benbow Inn in Memphis, and has only intensified since. From Alexander Downer's collision with a pair of fishnet stockings to Troy Buswell's manipulation at the hands of a renegade band of chair pornographers, the annals of Australian politics are filled with examples of the most pitiful, scandalous exploitation of defenceless adult men.
To say that middle-aged men deserve better is to say no more than the obvious: middle-aged men are sacred. For many men, middle age is a time of unalloyed delight and wonderment at the world, a golden age of unbridled salivation and unpredictable, no-strings-attached urinary flow. By press ganging our men into service as political foot soldiers in the art-porn debate, the children of this country will do lasting, perhaps irreversible, damage to the fragile balance of financial bombast and prostate pain that does so much to make middle age such a special period in the life of a man.
Fifty-year-old male politicians deserve to have the innocence of their political careers protected. They deserve to enjoy the fruits of those careers - the raucous nights on the Central Coast, the trips to Scores, the expletive-laden appearances at state party conferences - unhindered by the posturing and politicking of this country's children. There is a time for people to make independent, informed choices about the direction they would like to take their lives in. That time is not when they are in their 50s and in the middle of a political career.
For God's sake, let's just allow middle-aged male politicians to be middle-aged male politicians.
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