There's not go beating about the bush, because there's only one ball to begin with.AN extraordinary account from a German army medic has finally confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball.
War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down.
The priest’s document has now come to light – 23 years after Johan’s death.
The war tyrant’s medical condition has been mocked for years in a British song.
The lyrics are: “Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty b****r, cut it off when he was small.’
Until now there has never been complete proof Hitler was monorchic – the medical term for having one testicle.
But the document tells how Johan saw the proof with his own eyes. In the account, he relives the horror of serving as an army medic in World War I.
He died aged 94 in 1985, but had told his secret to priest Franciszek Pawlar, who kept a note of their conversation.Johan’s friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed the priest’s account of how the medic saved Hitler’s life. He said: “In 1916 they had their hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme.
“For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers. He remembers Hitler.
“They called him the ‘Screamer’. He was very noisy. Hitler was screaming ‘help, help’.
“His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was: ‘Will I be able to have children?’.”
Blassius said that when the Nazis swept to power Johan began to suffer nightmares and blame himself for saving Hitler.
Hitler’s genitals have long caused controversy. Some historians dismissed the “one ball” song as propaganda. But an alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler backed it up.
Records show Hitler did suffer a groin injury in the Somme.
It is the first time an interview with anyone who treated Hitler during WWI has come to light.
Dr Martin Farr, senior lecturer at Newcastle University School of Historical Studies, said last night: “This genuinely new twist is fascinating.”
This must be a hoax, it's just too good to be true. :)
Tame And Lame But Crazy All The Same...
Keith Roy Weatherly, 46, loved his pasta sauce, but not in the normal way.
A MAN caught by police with his penis inside a pasta sauce jar was still pleasuring himself while resisting arrest, a court has been told.
Police drew their weapons after New South Wales man Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, led them on a brief, slow-speed car chase, the Newcastle Herald reports.
Weatherley attracted police attention while he was parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26, Newcastle Local Court was told yesterday.
Police thought he might have a weapon because they saw him doing something with his hands in his lap, the Herald said.
Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.
That's when the pursuit began, the court was told.
When Weatherley was stopped, he refused to leave his car and four officers used batons and capsicum spray to get him out.
They found a 750mm jar around his penis and said Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling".
A search of his car uncovered pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.
Weatherley pleaded guilty to offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction.
He was convicted and fined $600.
Convicted and fined $600? As opposed to what? $500 plus GST?
And what was the Jack Russell Terrier doing there? :)
At Last, A Grand Jury With Guts
Dick Cheney, the outgoing Vice President of the USA is up on charges and not a moment too soon!A TEXAS grand jury has indicted US Vice President Dick Cheney for conspiring to block an investigation into abuse at privately run prisons.
The three-page indictment alleges that Mr Cheney profited from the abuse because he invested $US85 million ($131 million) in the Vanguard Group - an investment management company that reportedly has interests in the prison companies in charge of the detention centres.
It said this was a "direct conflict of interest'' because Mr Cheney had influence over the federal contracts awarded to the prison companies.
The indictment also accused Mr Cheney of committing "at least misdemeanour assaults'' of inmates by allowing other inmates to assault them.
The indictment further alleges that former attorney-general Alberto Gonzalez "participated by further having used his position ... to stop the investigations as to the wrongdoings which includes the assaults committed in the prison for profit in Willacy County, Texas".
How good is that? Dick Cheney is getting charged with engaging in organised criminal activity. Now, one wonders if Mr Bush is going to pardon him on the last day of his own Presidecy? Don't count it out; it's how Tricky Dicky Nixon got his 'get out of jail free' card from Gerald Ford.
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