Here's more than you ever wanted to know about Heather Mills:The erogenous stump bit was really kinky. That and the wall-socket connected dark black sex appliance. One ought not judge, but really, the description of her vibrator hoard is pretty out there.The former model, who appeared in London's High Court overnight to settle her bitter divorce battle with The Beatles legend, was "insatiable" in the bedroom and laughed about being "pursued" by Paul while romancing Tim Steel in 1999.
Steel, who had allegedly been sleeping with Heather for three years when she met Paul, said: "Heather was insatiable, she demanded sex six times a night.
"I'd come home to find her waiting naked in bed. She had a hoard of vibrators for when she was home alone. Her favourite was a huge back massager that she plugged into the mains.
"She would laugh and say, 'I'm being pursued by a Beatle!' She even showed me text messages from Paul. She was up for it anywhere. Once she pleasured me under my desk while I was at work."
Film editor Steel also revealed Heather, who lost her left leg below the knee in a motorbike accident in 1993, went wild with pleasure when he massaged her amputated limb.
He said: "Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone - her stump. I used to massage one particular area and it gave her an orgasm."
Steel claims their secret romance continued until Heather joined Paul on a romantic Caribbean holiday in 2000.
He remained in contact with Heather, 40, until she married Paul, 65, in 2002.
He added to Britain's News of the World newspaper: "I hung around because I didn't think Paul and Heather would last. I knew what Heather was like. She only married him because it opened up lots of doors for her."
Meanwhile, the former model reportedly wept over the weekend after Paul snubbed her desperate pleas to settle their divorce in private.
A source told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "Heather kept phoning but he wouldn't take her calls. When she eventually did get through she was in tears. She is desperate to settle out of court, but he ended the conversation by saying, 'I will see you in court'. She wanted to tell him she wasn't unfaithful and is worried the claims will affect her payment."
The first phrase that popped into my mind was 'Sex Addict'. It's a funny phrase that's been bandied about in the last 10 years. I remember first seeing it on the cover of some shopping checkout magazine where the headline screamed something like: "Catherine Zeta-Jones cures Michael Douglas of his Sex Addiction".
I thought, crikey, 1) I don't want to be cured out of sex 2) even if it was Catherine Zeta-Jones 3) especially if it was Catherine Zeta-Jones. I mean what would be the point of that?
The point of being a movie star is to be able to get laid at will, at whim, with as many gorgeous starlets as possible. What other ancillary benefit is there?
So when Michael Douglas was beaming next to Zeta-Jones at the height of her beauty and appeal it seemed like a new kind of insanity - A bit like celebrating a Sac Bunt by Barry Bonds circa 2002, at the height of his steroid-fueled Homer hitting prowess. When you have those kinds of assets, it's the wrong kind of swing to be taking. Catherine Zeta-Jones curing people of Sex Addiction! Come on!
Anyway, since then I've seen it go into common parlance like it's an official addiction. More recently I was watching 'Blades of Glory' where Will Ferrell plays 'Chaz Michael Michaels' who claims he is a sex addict and that it is a legitimate medical condition. "I'm a sex addict! It's a real medical condition!" he hollers in his unique, unconvincing way. It's funny because we just don't believe it's a condition at all. Better still there's a word for it already and it is 'promiscuous'. Still, it's right here to be defined.
Later on in the film, Ferrell's character turns up to a 'Sex Addicts Anonymous' meeting to hilarious effect.
In case you didn't know, here's a 12 question test to see if you are one and need help:
Well, all this might apply to Heather after all. Maybe it applies to us all. Seems to be too broad a net. Anyway, we'll see how the world reacts to all this guff.
- Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
- Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
- Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
- Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
- Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
- Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
- Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
- Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
- Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
- Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
- Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
- Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?
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