Arnold Supports John McCain

Lousy Spam!
This came in the spam today:

Dear Friend,

Today, I am endorsing John McCain to be the next president of the United States because I am interested in a great future for our nation. He is an American hero and an extraordinary leader. He has the experience, character and judgment to confront the challenges we face and a proven track record of getting things done, despite the obstacles.

I trust John McCain to reinvigorate our economy, cut taxes, eliminate wasteful spending and to make Washington work to produce results for the people of this country. He has spent the last two decades standing up for American taxpayers. He understands the best way to move our economy forward is to allow families to keep more of what they earn, not the government.

And he's a crusader, has a great vision, in protecting the environment and also simultaneously protecting the economy. He has incredible credentials in national security, and he is an outstanding public servant who values real action over rhetoric. He is a leader in the mold of Ronald Reagan and proven time and again that in every decision he makes, he puts America first.

Please join me in supporting John McCain for president on Tuesday, February 5th. And, take the time today to become part of John McCain's California Team by signing up at California.JohnMcCain.com.

Sincerely,

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

P.S. Please forward this message to your friends and family and ask them to join me in supporting John McCain for President. John McCain is a great American hero and an extraordinary leader with the experience, character and judgment to confront the challenges we face.

Now, I'm a big Arnie fan so I've been trying to read this with an Arnie accent for some time and I have come to the conclusion it is rather difficult to make it stick. Thus I have concluded, this was ghost-written for him.
If Arnie had written it, it would read more like this:

Dear Friend,

Today, I am endorsing John McCain to be the next tribal elder of Cimmeria because I am interested in chaotic, mayhem-ridden sword and sorcery action. He is a Cimmerian hero and an extraordinary leader - but he does not have muscles quite like me. He has the strength, power and the riddle of steel to confront the challenges we face and a history of slaying the enemy, despite the snake cult of Set.

I trust John McCain to reinvigorate our women and children through exercise, eliminate wasteful fat and to make Everybody work out to produce healthier results for the people of this country. He has spent the last two decades slaying the enemy, plundering the coasts, pillaging the mountainside and sometimes raping vestal virgins from the Sacred Temple of Thoth Amon - but he's not a bad man. He understands the best way to move our campaign forward is to allow more people to swing their swords, not the Althing.

And he's a crusader, and he promises to slay Muslims, Jews and other heathens like Scientologists. He has a great vision that came to him after he ate the sacred mushrooms, in protecting the virtuous maidens and also simultaneously protecting the fire in the forge. He has incredible credentials in necromancy, and he is an outstanding warrior/thief who values real action over poetic tirades. He is a leader in the mold of Genghis Khan, Attila The Hun, Alaric the Vandal; and proven time and again that in every decision he makes, he puts himself first.

Please join me in supporting John McCain for tribal elder on Tuesday, February 5th. And, take the time today to become part of John McCain's Cimmeriam Team by signing up at the wall on the city of Shem. Everybody gets a free rat on a sekwer.

All Hail Crom,

Arnold the Schwarzenegger

P.S. Please carrier pigeon this message to your friends and kinsmen and ask them to suppor John McCain for tribal elder. John McCain is a great Cimmerian hero and an extraordinary warrior with the might, strength, and bloodthirstiness to confront the challenges we face in the Hyborean Age.

It reads better, yeah?