Just Another Tricky Day

Fantasy League Updates
My AFL Combat Wombats are trudging through the loser's pool play-offs. So far it's been 1 win and a by, so it's 3 more wins to take out the Loser's trophy.

Amazingly my baseball Combat Wombats have crept up to third again. I can't say that my team has a shot at winning, but it is in some kind of contention, which is good.
I've picked up Joba Chamberlain and I've got Phil Hughes. I also have Melky Cabrera and of course his reputation is "The Melk-man always delivers!" I am so "The Yankees Prospect Guy", but that's okay. I'm building for the future. :)

On The Yankees
I went to see my parents a couple of nights ago. It was the day the Yankees lost 18-9.
My father looked glum. The first thing he said was, "Why can't the Yankees win when it counts?"
"Fred, they're the Angels. It's their *thing* to beat us in Anaheim. They're scrappy-good."
"Mussina can't pitch any more. He has no velocity."
"I agree there. He's looking cooked."
"But this new guy Hughes. He's a good pitcher. Young, but good. Still mentally young, but a very steady pitcher."
"Impressed?"
"Yes, but even better, there's this other rookie. Who's he? He's amazing! He's like a young Clemens. They should let him start instead of Mussina."
"They won't They're monitoring his innings. But he'll be a great starter next year."
"I think so. He's solid in the lower half of the body and his body snap is elegant and fast. He's just like Clemens."
My mother piped up and said "They really should have signed Matsuzaka."
"Gee Mom, they didn't have a chance. The red Sox paid $51,111,111.11 to not let him sign with the Yankees. He could only negotiate with the Red Sox and he wanted to play in the MLB so badly, he didn't care it was the Bosox""
"That's a tragedy."
"Yes Mom, it is, because a) he'd be much better than Moose right now, and b) he wouldn't be pitching for Boston. I know. But it's late August now. You really need to get over that thing with Matsuzaka."
"He just doesn't have any luck. If he were luckier, he'd be pitching for the Yankees."
"Yes Mom, but he's not."
"How much more of Mussina do the Yankees have?" my father asks.
"Through next year."
"He's an old fart. They should send him out to be knackered. But this Joba Chamberlain is good. What's the rotation going to look like next year?"
I did some quick guessing.
"Hughes, Chamberlain, Pettitte, Wang, and Kennedy, I think."
"Kennedy? Who's Kennedy?"
"He's the other one they drafted ahead of Joba."
"You mean they have an even better one?"
"Well, he looked better when they drafted him."
"So he sucks now?"
"No, it's just that they want to keep him in his starting routine this year. Joba's a special case."
"So no Mussina in the rotation next year?"
"Probably not in the rotation. He'd be the long man and at best the 5th starter when one of the young guys can't pitch."
"They should get him to the glue factory. He's as bad as Igawa. Igawa pitches like he's dancing the 'The Octopus Dance'. He's terrible. They should make BBQ octopus out of him and feed him to some sharks. I saw him pitch for the Hanshin Tigers and he was crap."
And with that he walked out the room.
"So do you think the Yankees can trade for Matsuzaka in the off-season?"
"No Mom. I think the Red Sox like him and we like Hughes, Chamberlain and Kennedy better."
My Mother nodded. "Matsuzaka has no luck. He said he wanted to pitch for the Yankees. Poor boy."
"I don't think he's crying about the 50million bucks he got from the Bosox, Mom."
This is what talking to my parents can be like.

The Jeter Tree
There is a vicious rumour going around that Jessica Alba has herpes and she got it from Derek Jeter. Some nasty people have since then, created this family tree of infection.


Yes, it is literally below the belt. But as you all of you know, I am not one to judge people by the actions from the waist down. If Jeter is indeed a Hepres-spreader, oh well. As long as he keeps his OPS in the .800-.850 neighborhood or above, he can still be my 'fantasy stud', so to speak.
As for Scarlet Johansson and Jessicas Biel and Alba, I'm sure I could work around that Herpes situation somehow, if indeed the occasion demands and arises. Yep, I'll be up for it. :)