Lo-Fi Woman

Awful People In Love

It's only after time has lapsed that you can reassess things. Sometimes you have to wait until your head cools. Failing that until it grows and forgets some crucial bits that cloud your judgment. If something was burning brightly like the sun, it might take as long as the sun would take to cool down. That's just the nature of things. Life is on some level, about assessing and reassessing one's experiences. What we think and feel are not necessarily aligned or on the same track. 

For instance you might think you had lost the love of your life when you split up with your girlfriend but in later reflection come to realise what you had might not have been love at all. There's this notion that romance is merely projection and the reason limerence does not last is because on some level we trick ourselves into making commitments we might otherwise not make. It's easy to just type that out, but to draw that conclusion and understand its ramifications from one's own experience takes time. Some people never get around to comprehending it at all. 

And what happens when they don't is they go from one relationship to another, always blaming the last person they were with. It's one thing to do it at high school and university, but if you start breaking up your own marriages and another person's marriage to get what you want, well, maybe there's something really wrong with you. And when you abandon that marriage for another guy after having had kids, well, that deserves to be written up in a song and derided if you ask me. 

I guess it's easy to judge people but honestly, there are some seriously awful people around when it comes to this kind of relationship hopping and shopping. Whatever your relationship is - past, present, or future, - it shouldn't be a consumer experience. Other human beings are not objects. One hopes people can get enough self-awareness to be above that. Then again maybe that is expecting too much of humanity. In any case these are the things you learn when you realise that somebody who was once the love of your life was by any measure, a godawful human being. 

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