Quick Shots

Sorry Guys
I've been busy lately so naturally, this blog kind of hit the bottom of my priorities.
I've barely managed to record 1 cover song in the last few weeks. It's a cover of the Who's 'The Real Me' off Quadrophenia:

Here's the Link.
I noticed that there's a film called 'Reign O'er Me' coming out soon and one of the plot elements involves a guy who relates back to his misspent youth through 'Quadrophenia'. It's been getting panned but I suspect I'd really like it anyway - even if it features Adam Sandler in a serious dramatic role.

I'm working on a a version of 'I Am The Walrus' so stay tuned. Hopefully when the MLB season gets underway and things settle down a bit I can post some more.

Hicks Pleads Guilty
It probably means very little to those who place a priority in getting him home, but the fact that he did plead guilty kind of sends the message that those who stood to accuse him were right; and that's the way it's going to go down in the history books. He was a terrorist wannabe, which is bad enough in most people's books.

If it weren't for the fact that John Howard is smiling about it, I'd feel pretty comfortable about that. In my opinion, it still doesn't excuse the behaaviour of our Government, or the US military; but he is who he is, as advertised and as charged, after all's been said and done. I can live with that.

Listen To Sydney's FBI 94.5FM!

Coelacanth On The Air

Last Monday, 'Chella' and I visited 2FBI to give them 4 copies of our promotional CD single for 'Taking Crude Mountain By Sophistry', (a.k.a., the WMD Song).
Yesterday, Saturday afternoon at 3.45pm, there was a reported playing of the song. So tune in to FBI and keep an ear out for us!
Heck, ring 'em up and make requests!

My Hero

Best Man For The Job

Seriously folks, I have to confess I don't believe in the innocence of David Hicks. To be precise, I believe he went to Afghansitan with the intention of shooting at Americans. That he got caught and now resides in a Hell-On-Earth scenario in 'Gitmo', is while grounds for feeling sorry for him, not something that inspires a lot of sympathy in me.

To be blunt, he put himself there through his own damn choices, good & bad; and in my humble opinion, they were mostly bad choices. I'm not saying Hicks is guilty or that this military commission is even legitimate as it dresses itself up to be. It's my contention that "deserve's got nothing to do with it," so as irrational as it seems, his predicament is a result of him "asking for it". At best, I think David Hicks is a silly, silly, boy who ran into a troubled sitation head first, but in most part he is only the victim of his own very faulty judgement. Let's just say I don't like what I've read and heard of him.

Be that as it may, David Hicks has a very public defender, and this man Michael Mori is my hero. This is a man who is fighting for the integrity of our very civlization.

A seat for a lecture by Major "Dan" Mori (as he prefers to be known) has been the hottest ticket in town for the past week. With moments to go before the lecture's 6pm start, most of the 600-strong audience are already inside. But about 30 have remained outside to cheer the immaculately uniformed military lawyer who, as former Media Watch host David Marr recently noted, "looks like Gomer Pyle, but pleads like Atticus Finch".

Hicks' captors at Guantanamo Bay have also been thinking about Atticus Finch, the heroic lawyer character in Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird. The classic American novel is one of several books — along with lawyer-crime novelist Scott Turow's Presumed Innocent and Robert Hughes' The Fatal Shore — that Guantanamo authorities have refused to allow the lawyer to give Hicks.

The well-wishers follow as Major Mori walks into the foyer, where he is bailed up by waiting media. Inside, the crowd is solid middle Australia: a sprinkling of law students; a majority of 30- and 40-somethings; and a striking number of people about the age of Hicks' father, Terry.

Mori brushes off any discussion of his quasi-hero status in middle Australia.

"I'm just the messenger," he says, dismissing talk of the role that he — with his military uniform and his straight talk about a "corrupt" military commission system — has played in changing the Australian public's view on the David Hicks case.

He is also quick to correct the suggestion he is defying the Pentagon or its Commander-in-Chief, US President George Bush.

"I am doing my duty," he says. His ethical obligations as a defence attorney, he explains, overrule the restrictions that usually prevent serving military officers from speaking their minds.

"I was assigned to defend David Hicks. I am in a unique position where I actually have the ability to advocate for another person and another person's interests. Normally, except when you are assigned as a defence counsel, you are representing the United States or the military branch you belong to."

His job is simple in some ways, he says.

"I get the easy job, I get to speak the truth. I am speaking the truth about the military commissions. Military commissions are a made-up system, created after the fact, in which people are handpicked to get a desired outcome."

On a practical level, however, a military commission defence lawyer's job is arduous. Major Mori is his own chief public affairs officer (a good one, who regularly returns reporters' emails at midnight, his time). He also has to be his own team investigator, visiting Afghanistan two years ago to check out allegations against his client.

"Unfortunately, the defence office has always been under-staffed compared to the appointing authority's office, or the chief prosecutor's," he says. "When I was first assigned to David, I asked for a second lawyer and it took until the first month before the first hearing for me to get (one) assigned, and he was living in Germany." That part-time lawyer was eventually replaced with a full-timer, but only after some months.

Raised in Boston, Major Mori, 41, and a father of twin infant boys, first enlisted in the Marines in 1983. He left four years later to finish college and later re-enlisted as an officer. After graduating from law school he worked as a military trial lawyer, prosecuting and defending more than 200 cases of marines accused of crimes from rape to drug dealing, before taking on the task of defending David Hicks in 2003.

He knows and respects the traditional US military justice system, describing it as a "real" system with "real judges" who take the role of the defence seriously. The military commission system, he says, is something else. "It is a creation of the political appointees and civilians that control the Department of Defence — it has nothing to do with military justice and it should never be confused with the US court martial system."

As a lawyer he has always been committed to his clients, he says. After three years with David (as he always refers to Hicks), "friend" is not the word. But there is "a relationship".

"I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to let my kids see David and hang out with David. I would have David in my house. I hope he is released and I can go visit him in his house."

There you have it. A man who is defending somebody I think is actually not all that wonderful. Maybe the Military Commission system is a sham; I happen to believe both the Nuremburg trials and Tokyo Trial were just as much of bunkum as this military commission. But so many people still believe in these crappy kangaroo courts. So it's actually quite the fight to go up against history and plead for justice to be served properly, instead of at the behest of poltical interests. That right there is a mighty man, asked to do something much mightier than most of us will ever be asked to do.

Certainly you could characterise it as one marine who is fighting on behalf of civilization itself. When everything is said and done, I hope they give him the Congressional Medal to commemorate his valiant fight.

Delusions of Grandeur

She Is The 'Anti-Christ'...?


I thought Johnny Rotten was the Anti-Christ, but no, Brittney is trying to claim that mantle.

Spears broke down in rehab, reportedly trying to hang herself with a bedsheet after screaming "I am the anti-christ" to frightened staff.

She made the demonic cry after scrawling the devil's number "666" across her head.

Maybe she needs an exorcism and not a detox program. I don't know how she'll ever live this down once she gets out of rehab.
"I want to to sing 'I am the Chianti-Christ', and make arty film clips while sipping chianti in Tuscanny."

Song Of The Week

Return Of Willie

I've re-mixed and re-posted my version of 'Willie The Pimp'. What's new? It's mostly the drum track and a re-jig of the overall mix. Should be more stereo-spread and a bit more oomph from top to bottom.

Check it out here.

Which Is Harder To Believe?

Yay James Cameron, You Iconoclastic Media Slut

There are a lot of whacky stories about Jesus. Some are in the bible, some are made up by cults. Now, James "Titanic" Cameron has waded into the realm with a documentary claiming that they have indeed uncovered the tomb of Jesus Christ.

A new Discovery Channel documentary THE LOST TOMB OF JESUS, from executive producer James Cameron and director Simcha Jacobovici, exclusively reveals what might be the greatest archaeological find in history. The film presents the latest evidence from world-renowned experts in Aramaic script, ancient DNA analysis, forensics, archaeology and statistics. Among the major discoveries chronicled in the program is new evidence that Jesus and Mary Magdalene, also known as "Mariamene e Mara," may have had a son named Judah.
THE LOST TOMB OF JESUS, which premieres Sunday, March 4, at 9 PM ET/PT, follows an investigative journey into the identities of and relationships among 10 ossuaries, which originally were discovered more than 25 years ago but never were connected conclusively. In conjunction with the film, HarperSanFrancisco is publishing a companion book, The Jesus Family Tomb, co-authored by Jacobovici and Dr. Charles Pellegrino, with a foreword by Cameron.
The Talpiot tomb originally held 10 ossuaries, nine of which are still within the Israel Antiquity Authority's domain. Six of the limestone bone boxes that served as First Century Jerusalem-area coffins include inscriptions of names found in the New Testament -- "Jesus son of Joseph," "Maria," "Mariamene e Mara," "Matthew," "Yose" and "Judah son of Jesus."
"This has been a three-year journey that seems more incredible than fiction," says Jacobovici. "The idea of possibly finding the tomb of Jesus and several members of his family, with compelling scientific evidence, is beyond anything I could have imagined."
"It doesn't get bigger than this," says Cameron. "We've done our homework; we've made the case; and now it's time for the debate to begin."

Now clearly, this flies in the face of one of the central notions of Christianity: that he died and rose from the dead and went to heaven. If a guy goes to heaven, he don't need no coffin, no?
To check further, here's a link to Discover Channel's page.

Predicatbly, there's "outrage, ourage, I tell you!"

Archaeologists need to make a deal with filmmaker James Cameron. "You keep making blockbusters like Titanic and Terminator," they should tell him, "and leave the artifact analysis to us."

That would honor the arenas of both science and faith, the two concepts savaged by Mr. Cameron's latest attempt at profit.

I have thoroughly enjoyed his past attempts at profit, and some of his money came from me. From the two giant movies mentioned above to the first Alien sequel to one of my all-time favorites, The Abyss, Mr. Cameron's name has usually been a guarantee of onscreen excellence.

Not any more.

This proud director has now joined the ranks of bottom-feeding junk pushers. The occasion is his Discovery Channel documentary, The Lost Tomb of Jesus, set to air on that otherwise admirable network at 8 p.m. Sunday.

Barring a last-minute burst of good judgment, this detestable program will be consumed by an audience of some size, spurred by the desire to see if the man who showed us Leonardo DiCaprio proclaiming "I'm king of the world!" has now found the remains of the King of the Jews.

I'm sorry, do I sound skeptical? Then I have aimed too timidly. My goal is to sound colossally repulsed, for there is something in Mr. Cameron's low exploit to offend nearly everyone.

It will offend the faith of millions who have about had it with pop culture hacks casting doubt on millennia of Christian beliefs. This unenlightened orgy hit a peak with the recent bug-eyed devotion to Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code, an amateurish book turned into a medium-quality Ron Howard movie of the same name.

Mr. Brown wanted it both ways. He wanted to be treated with the respect afforded a genuine theologian, yet he could always shrug when the questions got too tough, falling back on the safety net of a work of fiction.

At least Mr. Howard never delivered pseudo-authentic lectures on Bible history; he just wanted to make a profitable Tom Hanks movie.

That he did, and its audience, combined with the millions who read the book, now contains countless people who believe that Jesus got married and had a daughter.

The scolding I wish to deliver brings with it a responsibility to a stratospheric level of objectivity. That said, I'll assert flat out that Jesus may well have been a family man. My faith tells me otherwise, but faith is belief based on factors other than empirical evidence.

But willingness to doubt is one thing. Willingness to make things up is another. Not satisfied to spit on religion, Mr. Cameron also zestfully offends the standards of science.

My gripe with the cult of faux studiousness that comprised The Da Vinci Code zealots was that they felt as though they were immersed in substantive, carefully vetted historical analysis rather than clumsy conspiracy ramblings based on the flimsiest of premises.

Mr. Cameron's Lost Tomb is an even emptier exercise. His assertion is that skeletal remains found in a Jerusalem suburb in 1980 simply must be the remains of Jesus' nuclear family: wife Mary Magdalene, son Judah – hey, the Virgin Mary herself might have been the contents of one of the chests unveiled with a flourish at a news conference to hawk the documentary.

Ah yes. James Cameron must be lying beecause he's a greedy little media slut but this guy who gets his soapbox from a Dallas paper isn't, right? Ah, didn't Jesus say something about throwing stones...? Gotta laugh. :)

You can feel the heat of the indignation from here. Well, here's the thing. Which is actually less likely? That some archaeologists uncovered the tomb of a guy who everyone agrees lived approximately 2000 years, a guy that Christian scholars have worked very hard to convince us existed? Or that the said man died on the cross, but rose from the dead and ascended to heaven?
I mean, the issue isn't even the name.
I mean, if you knew nothing and somebody said "they found Joe Blogs' tomb 2000 years later and we're sure it's his tomb through DNA analysis," and somebody else said, "Joe Blogs got killed but came back to life and then ascended to heaven..." in all honesty, just who's story are you going to believe?
Pardon me if I find this mightily amusing.

The director Jacobovici had this to say:

Jacobovici denied that his film is an attack on one of the basic tenets of Christianity, that Jesus rose from the dead.

"I'm not a theologian. I'm not attacking anybody," Jacobovici told CBS' The Early Show. "I'm a reporter. I'm reporting a set of facts. … It's a fact the tomb was found. It's a fact that Jesus son of Joseph was buried in this tomb. There's two Marys, there's a Judah son of Jesus. These are facts. So what we're doing is reporting saying, hey world, pay attention, don't discuss theology. First, let's discuss the facts and then let's see the implications on theology."

Jacobovici and archaeologist Charles Pellegrino also are the authors of "The Jesus Family Tomb," newly published by HarperSan Francisco. Jacobovici said that a name on one of the ossuaries, Mariamene, is a major support to the argument that the tomb is that of Jesus and his family. In early Christian texts, Mariamene is a name of Mary Magdalene, he said.

Sensible enough position, really. I can just imagine all the theologians going "No-o-o-o-o-o."
My opinion? They shouldn' have been peddling lies about salvation for 2000years. The gig's up.

Colter Bean

I Keep Hoping

One of the stat-head favorites in the Yankee farm has been Colter Bean. He's now 30, way back in the depth chart, and his star may not make it to the big leagues. The NYT has an article on him.

Bean, a 30-year-old right-hander, has three games in the majors to show for it all. The first game was the best. He pitched two innings against the Los Angeles Angels that April night, allowing a run but striking out the last batter in a 12-4 victory. The lineup card is framed at home. The memories are fresh.

“The taxicab dropped me off in front of Yankee Stadium,” Ruth Bean said. “A security guard was waiting for me. I had a suitcase in my hand, and he took it for me and showed me around. It’s a different world, when you get a taste of it. Everyone was so nice to me.”

She took her seat right before Colter entered the game. When he did, she said, it was the most exciting experience of her life. After the game, Colter was sent back to the minors. They spent a day in New York sightseeing, and six weeks later, their first child was born.

The boy, Gibson, is almost 2, and a daughter is due on his birthday, June 8. Colter said he wanted to pitch long enough for his son to know what he does for a living, to romp around the clubhouse with his father.

It does not seem likely to be the Yankees’ clubhouse. The roster is overflowing with relievers higher on the depth chart. The Yankees’ affiliate now plays in Moosic, Pa., so Bean cannot add to his Columbus record.

It was a dubious mark, he said, and teammates called him Bumpus. But Bean was touched by a gesture from the Columbus front office after he set the record with his 213th appearance. In a pregame ceremony, Bean received a check for $2,130 — $10 for each game he had pitched.

“I was kind of blown away by that,” Bean said. “We established a college fund for our son when he was born, but that boosted it pretty big. I’ll never forget that.”

Kind of tough when you find yourself in no-man's land.
It's hard to see how it might happen with the Yankees, but I do hope he gets a shot at the Big League level.

Spring Training

The Future Looks Like This:

The Yankees have their two top pitching prospects throwing alongside their rotation members. That's Humberto Sanchez on the left and Phil 'The Franchise' Hughes on the right. Pretty darn cool.

Hughes threw 34 pitches, and the hitters put two in play. Sánchez was a bit wild, but Jason Giambi guessed that he threw 96 miles an hour. Hughes and Sánchez are the cornerstones of the Yankees’ emphasis on young pitching.

“From the first day when we all walked in, it looked like a corral — just a bunch of horses,” the backup catcher Todd Pratt said. “I’d be pretty happy if I was Mr. Cashman.”

Brian Cashman, the general manager, has no plans to put Hughes or Sánchez in the majors out of camp. But Hughes, especially, drew raves. He might be the best pitching prospect in baseball.

“He’s the real deal,” Giambi said. “He’s unbelievable. Great composure, great tempo. We could have used him last year. You forget he’s, what, 20? He reminds me of a young Rocket.”

We're all trying not to shit ourselves waiting for the arrival of Hughes. It's pretty hard to curb your enthusiasm right now.

Sánchez is different. He is 6-foot-6 and 230 pounds, and seems to come hurtling at the hitter. The Yankees acquired him during the off-season from Detroit in the Gary Sheffield trade.

“He’s huge,” Giambi said. “I don’t know how you let a guy like that go. I guess when you throw 96, it’s not enough to make that ballclub. In Detroit, every player throws 100.”

Sánchez said the Yankees were a better fit for him than the Tigers, who have a staff of young starters in their prime. It is also a natural fit, because Sánchez grew up in the South Bronx.

Born in the Dominican Republic, Sánchez moved to New York with his parents at age 10. In the Dominican, his mother worked at an airport and his father for a newspaper. In New York, his mother found work as a maid, and his father worked for a company that made brakes for trains.

This is the future: More Yankee dominance off the mound. Get used to it AL East!

H-II-A Flight 12

Going Strong



It's been a year since I was over in Japan to watch Flight 9 take off into the dark clouds. Roughly a year on, JAXA have launched Flight 12 successfully after some delays.

宇宙航空研究開発機構は２４日午後１時４０分すぎ、政府の情報収集衛星レーダー２号機と、光学３号機の実証機を載せたＨ２Ａロケット１２号機を、種子島宇宙センター（鹿児島県南種子町）から打ち上げた。ロケットは衛星２基を予定の軌道に放出し、打ち上げは成功した。

　情報収集衛星は光学とレーダーの２基１組で、既に光学１、２号機とレーダー１号機が打ち上げられている。内閣衛星情報センターによると、レーダー２号機が予定通り運用されれば、政府が目指す全４基の体制が整い、地球上のあらゆる地点を１日１回撮影できるという。

　現在の光学１、２号機は、地上の約１メートルのものを見分ける能力があるとされる。光学３号機では能力を５０センチ程度に上げることを目指しており、実証機で機器の性能確認などをする。

　当初１５日に打ち上げ予定だったが、落雷の恐れなどで３度延期されていた。

　開発費はレーダー２号機が約３００億円、実証機が約１１５億円。

The rocket was launched at 1:40pm local time. It was carrying a double-payload of optical satellites no. 2 & 3. Both satellites got into orbit safely.
The development of the satellite is estimated at AUD$300Million, an No.3 itslf cost AUD$115Million.
And so it goes!

Violent Chimps

Chimp Watch

I know lateley I've been slack and if anything, tend to gravitate ot chimp stories than space, but this is quite extraordinary.

Chimpanzees in Senegal have been observed making and using wooden spears to hunt other primates, according to a study in the journal Current Biology.
Researchers documented 22 cases of chimps fashioning tools to jab at smaller primates sheltering in cavities of hollow branches or tree trunks.

The report's authors, Jill Pruetz and Paco Bertolani, said the finding could have implications for human evolution.

Chimps had not been previously observed hunting other animals with tools.

Pruetz and Bertolani made the discovery at their research site in Fongoli, Senegal, between March 2005 and July 2006.

"There were hints that this behavior might occur, but it was one time at a different site," said Jill Pruetz, assistant professor of anthropology at Iowa State University, US.

"While in Senegal for the spring semester, I saw about 13 different hunting bouts. So it really is habitual."

Chimpanzees were observed jabbing the spears into hollow trunks or branches, over and over again. After the chimp removed the tool, it would frequently smell or lick it.

In the vast majority of cases, the chimps used the tools in the manner of a spear, not as probes. The researchers say they were using enough force to injure an animal that may have been hiding inside.

So much for the notion that humans are the only apes to use tools as weapons.

From the Mailbag

Peter Thompson Says Goodbye

Peter Thompson is one of my favorite film critics. He's great because he's a practitioner, so he has an eye for what filmmakers look for in a film. Consequently, over the years, his calls on films have ben remarkably accurate, and I don't think he has had to reverse many of his initial opinions on films like some critics have had to do over a 25 years stretch. In that sense, he's a much more reliable reviewer of work than the vaunted pair of David Stratton and Margaret Pomeranz, in my humble estimation.

He's also one of my favorite critics because I actually learned the basics about filmmaking from educational films he made for the then AFTS back in the 1970s. He's actually a giant in this industry who is seldom spoken about. I would imagine his influence as a film educator alone has left a very long echo of thought about what a movng image is and why it is so fascinating.
Anyway, Pleades sent in this article where he is signing off from Sunday.

And that's it from me. This is my last regular film review for Sunday. After 25 years, I'm moving on to other things although I will still contribute to the program. It's been a unique privilege to be associated with Sunday for so long, and I'm profoundly grateful for the chance to work alongside so many talented and dedicated people.

As for the world of movies, it's changed so much over a quarter of a century but that's a subject for another time. If I have one regret, it's that the Australian film scene looked fantastically exciting back in 1981. The first film I reviewed was Bruce Beresford's cheeky comedy Puberty Blues and Crocodile Dundee followed soon after. The future looked rosy but the national consensus in support of Australian film culture broke up and the political will soon evaporated. The last ten years, especially, have been disastrous. We now export our actors along with our iron ore and our woodchips and we're quite comfortable when they come back to us with foreign accents in other people's films.

Still, while there's life, there's hope. New generations of filmmakers will have passion enough to turn things around and put more of their stories, our stories, in front of us again. It needs political change but I'm sure it will happen.

Ever the generous optimist! Good luck Mr. Thompson!

'My Conundrum' Revisited

This Week's Track

We used to play this song in our old band 'Satellite City', and it used to kick ass. Like something that refuses to give up its ghost, I've come back to doing a version of this old song. It's partly because we have reformed as a recording entity Coelacanth and partly because this version is made up of what turned into spare-parts arrangement.
Do check it out by clicking this link.

Man Attacks Shark

Very Courageous, Sir

Normally, we report it when it's the other way around, but there's some merit to this story:

A fisherman from South Australia's rugged west coast, who attacked and landed a shark with his bare hands, does not recommend others do the same.

Phillip Kerkhof, 42, from Louth Bay, admits his judgement was clouded by a few beers and vodkas when he saw a 1.3-metre bronze whaler shark chasing his squid lures off the local jetty on Monday night. Mr Kerkhof, a former tuna fisherman in Port Lincoln who now works in the building industry, climbed down a ladder and stalked the shark in the shallows before sneaking up behind, grabbing it around the tail and wrestling it on to the jetty.

"I had both hands wrapped around his tail and he was thrashing around," Mr Kerkhof said yesterday. "I brought him back towards the steps and hurled him up on to the jetty."

As news of the man who attacked a shark spread through the South Australian fishing community this week, Mr Kerkhof says it was Dutch courage more than good judgement that inspired him to wrestle a shark capable of causing serious injury. Bronze whalers are aggressive and agile and their cartilage structure gives their head almost complete rotation. They have been known to attack and badly injure divers in Australia and a bronze whaler was present when a white pointer took a surfer in Western Australia, Brad Smith, 29, in 2004. "Even a small shark like this one could give you a nasty bite," Mr Kerkhof said.

Good on ya' Mr. Kerkhof!

Hammer Of The Chimps

New Chimp Finds

It turns out that chimps might have learned tool use at least 4200 years, putting paid to the theory that only humans use tools. Here's the Article:

The research pushes back chimpanzee tool use thousands of years. It casts into doubt the long-standing theory that direct human ancestors were the only animals to independently develop tools—and that chimps learned to use stone tools by watching humans.

Instead both humans and chimps could have inherited the ability to crack nuts with rocks from a common ancestor, Julio Mercader of the University of Calgary in Canada and co-authors report in today's issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Or chimps may have developed the behavior on their own. In either case, it's no longer likely that chimps learned to use stones as tools only by imitating humans.

At 4,300 years old, the chimps' tools correspond to the late Stone Age of human history—before the advent of agriculture in West Africa.

"Until recently people used to say that among modern-day chimpanzees the behavior came from imitation of farmers," Mercader said. "That assumption is no longer valid. What we present predates the presence of farming."

Of course some animals do use tools. For instance Sea Otters use a flat rock to break open sea shells. Doesn't make them exactly 'sapient', though. :)

My New Recording

It's About Anna Nicole Smith

Basically because she died this last week, I've had this weird inspiration to do a cover of 'Candle In The Wind', except with modified words. Why her? Well, because I was sitting in the local fish and chip shop having lunch when I overheard the next table's conversation about Anna Nicole Smith, and it hit me that this woman was a global phenomenon. It's hard to tell what the hell she was famous for except for her marriage to that Marshall millionaire fogey, and the bizarre circumstances of the death of her son and birth of her daughter. But there she was, serious conversation fodder for a Sunday family lunch at the next table. Not literature or music or cinema or politics or history... Anna Nicole Smith.

Then I got to be thinking, "why do I even know about this woman? I wasn't a regular reader of Playboy in the 1990s! I don't care what an old millionaire does in his dotage! Why do I have to waste even a few memory cells knowing about this woman? Well, it's just the way of this world. A world filled with media bits and pieces where flotsam factoids just float into your brain and stick to bits without you knowing or caring. It's just wrong, y'know?"

In fact, why do I know about, Marylin Monroe?
Or Elton John and Bernie Taupin and their song about her?
And Princess Diana and her love of the said song?
And her stupid demise and her affair with Dodi al Fayed and how it might've been a conspiracy and not a drunken chauffeur that killed her?
And how Elton and Bernie quickly re-wrote the words to play it at her funeral and then went on to be a hit again?
And how Anna Nicole Smith idolised Marylin Monroe?
What is it with all these dead dumb blondes?
Thus, I felt compelled to take something of an artistic vengeance.

Here's the link.
Do check it out!